If you are reading this, then you are probably in a relationship and are intrigued to know some valued knowledge about an awkward situation that happens from time to time. Or maybe you are currently single and you are just starting dating in London, but that curious side to you wanted to know for future’s sake. Well, whatever your circumstance let’s discuss a problem that can affect both sexes, what to do when your partner goes away…
For those in a LTR (Long-Term Relationship) you may be living together or you at least live in the same area or City and see each other regularly enough for a serious and committed relationship. Or perhaps you are in a new relationship, enjoying that new and exciting feeling…until your partner tells you they’re going away and you’re concerned about where you stand.
Your partner could be going away for a number of reasons; commonly in the U.K. are Stag and Hen weekends which often cause worry to the partner left behind given the reputation of such events. Or, more innocently, they could just be visiting family and friends back in their home town or country.
Whatever the reason, it could fill you with some sense of anxiety about your partner being away. Maybe you are worried about the possibility of them cheating? It’s on people’s minds often than we like to admit but it usually stems from our own insecurities rather than the promiscuity of our partners.
If you are concerned about your partner cheating whilst they are away, then you need to work on your trust. You should have equal trust whether you are going away together or separately, it should not matter in a healthy relationship.
Also, it is important to show that you trust them and to not let any anxiety or insecurities show as an issue which may lead to an argument and make you feel even more distant whilst you are both apart.
Do something yourself!
Mostly the anxiety about your partner going away comes from you being lonely or bored whilst they may be having a good time elsewhere. So make sure you make plans yourself. It’s a great excuse to catch up with old friends or re-visit old interests or hobbies that you like to do on your own or with friends rather than your partner.
If you have plans yourself, I promise you that your partner being away will not be on your mind as you are too busy having fun!
Don’t be needy
It’s important to not be too needy when your partner goes away too. Yes, it’s ok to tell them that you miss them but don’t keep texting or phoning them. Stay in brief contact but also let them have a good time and also make them miss you, by being busy yourself!
When they come back, you will both have stories to share about your time apart and then you can both declare how much you missed each other. It’s healthy and a Win/Win scenario.
For those in a new relationship, your partner going away could be trickier, especially if you have not set out any boundaries and know where you both stand.
If your partner is going away, then you should be open and honest about your concerns. Set some ground rules, are you in an exclusive relationship or are you just casually dating without so much commitment?
It’s better to have the talk before they go away or you may ruin your own weekend with worry. At worst, it could cause problems if you or your partner did break some boundaries whilst you were apart and declare the “I didn’t know” card. Being open and honest will not let that be an option.
Once you’ve had the talk, you will know where you stand. And like I said earlier in the article, make sure you make plans and have fun whilst your partner is away.
A healthy relationship is based on wanting each other, not needing each other. So prove to yourself that you can have fun with and without them, it certainly makes for a great peace of the mind.
Are you the one going away?
Perhaps you are the one in the relationship who is going away and you may have feelings like guilt rather than anxiety especially if you are going away for pleasure like a holiday.
Although you will be having fun away, just remember your partner back home and drop them a text or a phone call to say you miss them. They will appreciate it and you will feel better for it too.