With texting and emails having replaced actual voice on voice action (talking is so last year), that first message is more important than ever if you want to make new friends in London.
So if you ever find that you just dont get a response from your messages, read on to discover wha\t you might be doing wrong and more importantly, how to change it.
1) Speak properly
According to a study undertaken by okcupid.com the overuse of netspeak, poor spelling and bad grammar are all overt turn offs. This means that for the first few messages at least, show the other person that you actually do know how to spell and construct proper sentences. Avoid the use of netspeak words such as wat, realy, luv ur, r and ya. Later on when you have built some sort of a relationship with the person in question, you can surely amend this to give your fingers a rest! First impressions last and this goes for texting as well.
2) Avoid gratuitous compliments
This is really more for the guys but can work both ways. Everyone likes to hear pleasant things about them but there are certain words which can appear insincere such as sexy cutie and gorgeous. Words which can be applied more universally to the person as well as their looks fare far better. So if you want a response, stick to words such as cool, awesome, unique. Okcupid.com also found that the use of the word pretty received far more responses when it was used as an adverb as in pretty cool or pretty good as opposed to when used as an adjective as in youre pretty. The key is substance over style.
3) Think outside the text box
Your first greeting is the first word the receiver sees so its highly imperative that its a word that they dont see all the time. Anyone can write hello or hi. Its boring and ineffectual. Try using more unique salutes such as Hows it going? (which implies that you care about their day) or something fun such as hola. Okcupids study found that whats up yo howdy hows it going and hola received the most replies with hey coming out the worst.
4) Be Specfic to the person
Noone wants to receive a message from someone who acts as if theyre writing that same message to every person on the block. Its been proven (okcupid.com) that questions geared towards that persons specific interests written with thought out phrases, receive the most responses. Phrases such as I noticed that you recently went to see Kings of Leon, how did you enjoy it? or You mention that one of your favourite movies is….. If you want a reply from the person, start getting to know them by reading up on their profile and their page.
5) Refrain from talking about religion
This doent mean that you have to make like REM and lose your religion but leaving the God talk to one side has fared better when receiving a reply on social networks.
6) Exercise humility
The study continues with the use of self effacing words proving to be more of a success with the women. Perhaps it is because women like a man to appear more sensitive and humble. Whatever the reason, words such as sorry, apologise, awkward probably and kinda worked.
7) Ask Questions
Theres nothing more unattractive than someone who messages YOU only to talk about themselves non-stop. Utilise rule nubmer 4 and ask the person questions and actually respond and remember the answer.
8) Dont double message
You may have sent them a emssage two hours ago but just because they havent responded, it doesnt mean that you should bombard them with more messages. Wait, be patient. If you leave them to it, it shows that you have a life, you were just trying to make space for them in it. Multiple messaging is a sure put off.
9) Introduce a nickname
You may not know them but calling them by a nickname will create an air of conifdence around you and also build a connection between the two of you. Steer clear of superficial, generic nicknames such as cutie pie or honey or the worst of the worst; babe. Instead, something like trouble or Princess of Leon (If she lieks the band for example). Perusing their profile is the ebst way to concoct a nickname.
10) Be yourself
There is no point in talking about a band that you dont like just because s/he does. Be genuine and that way youll be able to maintain it.
Remember, once you get to know a person and a relationship is well under way, youll be able to relax more with the rules and you may even be able to slip in a babe here and there.