You are the architect of your own dreams. But not solely; the people who you surround yourself with influence can you without you even knowing. If you want to take control of your life and live your dreams here in London, you need to know which friends are a positive influence and which friends will just drag you down.
If you are in a relationship, you tell your friends about it right? You tell them when your partner annoys you, don’t you? Consider this, you tell your friends about certain aspects of your relationship and they make up an opinion of your relationship based on what you tell them. But the problem is it tends to be one sided.
We all get pissed off with our partners but it doesn’t mean it’s a bad relationship, does it?
Our friends will influence our decisions and we influence them too. What happens when you bitch about your partner? That’s it; they get a negative opinion about your partner. What if you told them, you were annoyed because your partner wants to co-ordinate things together.
This is a normal aspect of any relationship, right?
Then, one day, you call your partner up because you miss them. As soon as your friends find out they may get the wrong picture that your partner is being controlling. As much as you try to persuade them they have made up their opinions.
The point is your friends will influence you, regardless how small, regardless how big. In the example, what do you think will happen?
You will try to persuade them that your partner is not controlling but you’ll have planted doubts within your own mind, by way of your friends because you trust them, and every time you argue with your friends about the matter you’ll just reinforce the doubt. This is influence. 6, 12 months down the line the relationship could be over due to negative influence.
How to tell when you are being influenced by your friends
Ask yourself: who do I spend the most time with?
Consider your friends – think about their positive and negative aspects – the good parts of their personalities and their flaws.
Ask yourself: where do I see myself in the next 10 years surrounded by these friends?
Ask yourself: how do my friends influence my life?
Ask yourself: Do I need to tell this friend that? Be selective about what information you choose to tell certain friends.
Ask yourself: Will the people around me stop me from reaching my dreams and goals in life?
If the answer to that question is ‘yes’ or ‘maybe’ then you need to reconsider your friends role in your life. I’m not saying you need to end the relationship just minimise the time you spend and their influence over you.
Influence is fine, as long as it’s healthy.
Become aware of your thoughts
Most of our decisions are made unconsciously – all you need to do is monitor your thoughts and recognise when the influence of others is apparent.
Stop comparing
When you find yourself comparing yourself to others, stop! Who are you comparing yourself to? Remember, you could always do better than them- comparisons are extremely limiting.
Be yourself
Don’t stick to norms of the group – it’s ok to be different. If your friends do not like it when you be yourself, simply, they are not friends. Then its time to stop returning their calls and cut them out of your life
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