Make an in instant connection with new friends in London
Do you feel nervous when meeting new people and socializing at parties and social events? Many people feel uncomfortable in a room full of strangers and are anxious about approaching new friends. But that is just one example of where you need great communication skills.
To succeed atmaking friends in London you need skills in meeting new people, making new friends, and developing relationships. Most people want to share their experiences with other people. We are constantly searching for others we can relate to on an intellectual, physical, and emotional level. This search can be hard if you are not able to reach out and communicate. However, once you master the fundamentals of great English conversation in London and are willing to reach out to new friends, youll be open and available for new friendships and relationships in London.
Connecting with new friends in London
The goal of conversation is to connect with people. By sharing your experiences, you can connect to new friends more easily. Conversation goes beyond just making friends it also needed extensively every day at work. Negotiation is a more advanced form of communication and is an essential skill for career success.
What are softners?
A “softener” is a non verbal gesture that will make potential new friends more responsive to you. Since your body language speaks before you even open your mouth for the first time.
It is important to project a receptive image. In other words you want to be sure it looks to the other person you are friendly and easy to talk to rather than someone cold and unfriendly.
When you use open body language, you are already sending the signal: “Im friendly and willing to start a conversation.”
We can summarise the techinques in 6 words. SOFTEN.
A pleasant smile is a strong indication of a friendly and open attitude and a willingness to communicate. It is a receptive, non verbal signal sent with the hope that the other person will smile back. When you smile, you demonstrate that you have noticed the person in a simple and positive manner. The smile is like a compliment and will usually make your new friend in London feel good.
If all goes well the other person will smile back. Smiling does not mean that you have to put on a fake face or pretend that you are crazily happy all of the time. When you see someone new, or would like to make contact with – smile. Your face sends out a huge number of verbal and nonverbal signals. If you send out friendly messages, youre going to get friendly messages back. When you meet someone new in London give them a warm smile with a friendly “Hi” or “Hello”, youll be surprised by how effective those simple steps are.
Smiling with a verbal greeting is the easiest and most effective way to show someone that youve noticed them. In addition, the other person will feel more open to talk to you.
You have probably been welcomed with “open arms,” by a friend or family member before. That means that a person was glad to see you right? Normally, if it someone you know they would hug you too. But when you are meeting someone new its probably best not to try and hug them straight away! That would be too forward. By open arms we mean keep your arms apart and not crossed. That makes potential new friends feel that you are receptive to their presence.
Crossing your arms makes you appear closed to new contact or even defensive. In addition crossing your arms makes you appear more nervous, judgmental, or sceptical—this will discourage new friends from approaching you. To make matters worse you will make the other person feel uncomfortable while talking to you. Even if you feel relaxed by crossing your arms – you are subconsciously saying to everyone; “Stay away”. Open arm say, “I want to talk to you and Im willing to listen.” Also, never cover your mouth with your hand – or wrap your hand around your chin – in the “thinkers pose.”
Lean Leaning forward slightly while a new friend is talking to you indicates interest on your part, and shows you are listening to what your new friend is saying. Your new friend will take this as a compliment and encourage them to keep talking. If you lean back this shows you are not interested and worse you are bored. Leaning forward says: “I am interested in what you are saying.” You may think leaning back makes you look relaxed but unfortunately, this posture gives off signals of judgment, scepticism and boredom. It is better for you to lean forward slightly in a casual and natural way. This will communicate “I am interested in what you are saying – keep talking!”.
One word of warning – ensure you dont get too close and encroach on your new friends “personal space”. Of course, if the situation calls for it –such as in a noisy environment, the closer the better. Be aware of your friends body language. If they try and move away from you then you were probably too close.
In the UK the most acceptable form of first contact between two new friends who are just meeting is a handshake. This is true when meeting members of the same or opposite sex. It applies in business and in social situations. A warm and firm handshake is a safe way of showing an open and friendly attitude towards new friends you meet in London. Dont wait for the other person to make a move – be first to extend your hand in greeting. Combine your handshake with “Hello, Im Mark (or whatever your own name is!)” then give a nice smile. A friendly handshake with a smile and a warm “Hello good to meet you” is an easy, acceptable form of touching a new friends for the first time and this builds rapport with that person which is critical in building a connection with a new friend. It doesnt matter if the handshake is from male to male or male to female – everyone loves a handshake. Its safe and non-threatening for both parties. You can also say goodbye in the exact same manner. This is an excellent way to end a conversation and leaves you and the other person both feeling good about your time together.
E = Eye Contact
The strongest of the nonverbal gestures are sent through the eyes. Making direct eye contact with a new friend indicates that you are listening, and that you want to know more. Eye contact should be natural and not over done so you look like you are trying to hypnotise the other person!
It is fine for you to briefly alter your gaze to other parts of the persons face—particularly the mouth if you are looking to flirt with a date! Keep watching for reactions though – if the person smiles or laughs at what you are saying be sure to mimic their response and perhaps take that moment to look into the distance before looking back at them.
When listening to your new friend speak – if you look up, down or sideways that makes it seem you are disinterested in what they have to say. If you stare at a person, they may feel uncomfortable and even suspicious about your intentions. A fixed stare can appear aggressive.
If you have a problem maintaining comfortable eye contact; Start with short periods of eye contact—maybe only a few seconds. Then let your gaze travel over the features of your friends face, hair, nose, lips. But dont do this for too long – after a few seconds, go back to eye contact. So be sure to look into the eyes of all the new friends you converse with.
N = Nod
A nod of your head indicates that you are listening to your new friend. Its sends the message: “I hear you, go on!”. Also it signals approval and encourages the other person to continue talking, which is exactly what you want. A nod of the head, together with a smile and a friendly “Hi”, is an excellent way of greeting someone new. Remember Body Language + Tone of Voice + Words = Your complete communication. Nonverbal softening gestures alone do not replace verbal communication – so be sure to add in a “Yes” or “Hmm” to reinforce your engagement in the conversation.
Look to combine eye contact, nodding, smiling and leaning forward for maximum effect. With a friendly tone of voice and inviting words, you will create an impression of openness and availability for contact and conversation. With practice and a greater awareness of body language, you will be able to send and receive receptive signals, and encourage new friends to approach you and feel comfortable. Be sure to observe other peoples body language as well as your own. Look for new friends who display receptive body language and project friendly body language. Once you have mastered these techniques you will be the life and soul of the party.