Friends

Most people have more acquaintances than friends in London and sometimes we might want to develop the relationships further and turn those acquaintances into something more. Taking that step can be difficult but there are a few things you can do to help develop a friendship with people you already know.

Regular contact

The key to building a friendship is doing so step by step. Regular exchanges, no matter how brief, with the person youre looking to get to know will help the relationship grow over time. Thanks to the internet, there are many ways this can happen now. You dont have to be face to face with the person to show you care. Sending an email or using an instant messaging programme will work just as well.

If the acquaintance is someone you usually see as part of a group, try and meet up with them on their own. At work, people are usually busy and have too much on their minds for a proper conversation and if you usually see the person with a group of other friends, the others present could be a distraction. Meeting up for a quick cup of coffee or going to see a movie youre both interested in are great ways of breaking the ice.

Taking an interest

One of the main differences between acquaintances and friends in London is how well you know them. This means that, in order to build the friendship, its a good idea to try and find out more about what the person is like, as well as information about their background and interests. Not only will this show that youre interested but it will also help you decide further whether you could potentially be friends or not. Try not to get too personal too quickly but simply show a genuine interest in how theyre doing.

Making a gesture

Making a gesture or going out of your way to help someone can do a lot to build a friendship. If you are there for your acquaintance when they might need help, this will raise the trust levels in the relationship. Perhaps theyre working on a project you could assist them with or, if you cant offer anything yourself, maybe you know someone who can. If theyre moving house, offer to help; if they need a babysitter and you have a free evening, theres an opportunity to show your generous side. Even if they dont take you up on the offer, youve made it and theyll know that. While no one expects you to drop everything for them, just showing that youre a considerate person and have recognised that they might need assistance can make all the difference.

The possibility of a new friend in London can be exciting but it is important not to be pushy. You can show that youre interested and willing to help without being overbearing. Doing so will probably push them away. However, with the right balance and a bit of time, you could find yourself with a great long-lasting friendship.

So you want to make new friends in London fast? You need to take action on the top ten list below of hints and tips for meeting new people and making friends in London. We highlight the most important things to remember when you’re beginning this exciting journey in the world’s greatest city.

1) Use the internet to make new friends in London

The internet is a great place to connect with people who have similar interests, shared values and could potentially be friends in the future. new2london.net offers a great way to get in touch with people who, like yourself, have just moved to the city and are looking to make new friends in London.

2) Use your existing friends

If you already have friends in London, they’ll probably have their own existing group of friends. This provides an easy opportunity to get acquainted with more people and start building your own networks.

3) Use your hobbies

Hobbies and interests are a great way to find potential friends. Not only do you get a few hours of fun doing something you enjoy, but you also get to meet like-minded people. You’ll already have at least one thing in common that both you and they take pleasure in – i.e. the activity you’re doing – and that is a great starting block for a relationship.

4) Find the balance between taking the initiative and trying too hard

It’s a tricky one to perfect, but finding a balance you’re comfortable with will really help those difficult first conversations. It’s important to approach people but keep an eye on their verbal signals and body language; being too pushy will only alienate them and you could miss out on a potential friendship.

5) Be yourself

This is one of the most important things to do if you want lasting friendships. Pretending to be someone you’re not is both tiring and dishonest. Even if you do get to know people using a certain persona, it will be difficult to maintain that facade for long.

6) Use every opportunity

London is full of events that present a great way to meet new friends. However, it’s important to remember that your opportunities are not just limited to nights out or organised activities.

7) Stay positive

You might find your new best friend in the first person you approach but this is unlikely to be the case. If you’ve been trying to meet people but haven’t succeeded yet, don’t give up and don’t let it get you down.

8) Be confident

Confidence is something that is attractive to everyone. Have faith in your personality and abilities and remember that there are plenty of people out there who will find value in who you are.

9) Keep your goals in mind

Having a group of friends might feel necessary but the most important person in your life is you. Staying focused on your goals and ambitions could take the pressure off some of your friendships and, at the same time, help you achieve the life you want.

10) Enjoy it!

Making friends is about having fun. You’re going to meet interesting people and have some great experiences so make the most of your time in the city and live life to the full!

Your profile picture will be the first thing that people see so it’s important to get it right. If not you will struggle to make new friends in London. Your photo is a representation of you and anyone viewing it will form an immediate impression of what kind of person you are. They might even decide whether or not they want to contact you based purely on your avatar. No pressure, right?!

Most of us are anonymous online and our profile pictures are the only things that break that anonymity. Choosing the right picture becomes easier once you’ve decided what you want from your profile image. Do you want to use it to catch people’s attention? Perhaps you simply want it to show people what you look like. What parts of your personality do you want to display?

Whether you’re outgoing, fun, intelligent and/or shy, all these things can be communicated using your profile picture. If you’re not sure, pause the next time you view someone’s avatar and you’ll realise exactly how many judgements and conclusions you’re drawing about that person just from seeing their profile image.

1) Smile

You HAVE to smile. This is the number one tip. Smiling people get more messages. Its that simple!

2) Quality

Phone and web cameras are great, but they usually produce poor photos. If you want to produce good quality pictures, ditch the grainy images in favour of a proper digital camera. Even if you don’t have one, the chances are that you know someone who does and won’t mind you taking a few snaps.

3) Lighting

Lighting is just as important as picture quality. While silhouettes provide a mysterious allure, if you want people to know what you look like, you’ll need to get the lighting right. Wherever you’re taking the picture, make sure you’re facing the light source. If the light is behind you, then you’ll be dwarfed by an eclipse effect. It’s also important to make sure your surroundings are light enough otherwise you’ll have the opposite problem. Flash is a good way to ensure the picture is well-lit and it also stops photos from blurring. However, watch out for artificial lights; some can give photos an odd colouring.

4) Be consistent

You want people to get to know who you are. If you’re modelling a new look every couple of days or so, it’s going to be hard for people to pin a name to a face. Try and find a picture you like and stick with it for a while. Unless you drastically change something about your appearance, it will give people a much better idea of who you are and help them feel like they know you.

5) Get creative!

If you want to add a little creative flair to your profile pictures, there are a number of websites that will help you produce eye-catching avatars with a difference.
Photoshop – Now in its 20th year, Photoshop allows users to edit images, altering the picture and adding effects. But don’t go too far or you will turn people away from your profile.

Photofunia (http://photofunia.com) – Ever wanted to see your picture appear on a billboard, as a book illustration or in the next Robert Pattinson movie? Photofunia creates novelty photos that will make people look twice and will certainly get their attention.
Finding a profile picture that you’re happy with is important but it can also be a lot of fun. Remember there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to present yourself so just enjoy it!

6) Experiment

If you are not getting messages and you think you should be then try another photo and see if you get more messages.

7) Don’t use a group shot

The whole point of your profile photo is its your profile photo! So don’t have a big group of people with you or everyone will be wondering which person they are speaking with!

8) Don’t turn back time

We don’t advise putting a photo of yourself that is more than 2 years old. If someone does eventually meet you and you look massively different they are likely to be put off. Also if you use your real age and that doesn’t match to your photo they may think your profile is fake.

9) Don’t appear too far away or too close up

Choose a photo of yourself that is a nice distance away from the camera. Don’t choose a photo where are you are far away from the camera. Likewise do not use a photo that is zoomed in really close as that will make you look odd.

10) Look into the camera

We recommend looking into the camera lens. That way you are looking back at the individual who is looking at you therefore you are more likely to make a connection with them.

Being new to the capital, youre probably itching to get out there and start meeting new friends in London. Theres nothing wrong in spending time alone but too much time alone can leave you feeling lonely, especially in a new city. Broaden your horizons; if you think about it, London has a population of over 7million  – thats 7 million potential new friends! Heres how to quickly make friends in London.

1) Go to where potential new friends will be!

You wont make any new friends in London sitting at home watching the TV. The most effective way to maximise the amount of new people you meet is to join a group of people with a common interest, such as an arts group, a book group, a religious group or a particular society or club.

If youre of a more sporty nature, a great way to instantly meet a lot of people with similar interests is to join a sports team/group, dont worry if youre a little rusty or cant play that well  – not all teams are that competitive, all you need to do is genuinely have fun and support your team/group members.

Another opportunity to meet new friends in London is by volunteering, which can be an extremely rewarding pastime. A quick search on the web shows there are many opportunities to volunteer in London.

Once involved in a team, group or indeed any social activity, you should find this one common interest is all thats needed to spark a friendship – if you put the work in. Who knows, your team/group mates may soon be inviting you out. Ultimately, if you have more things going on in your life, youll have more to talk about and potentially, more things in common with any potential new friend you may meet.

2) Use the web as a tool to find new friends

Being new to London, the internet is a great place to start looking for new friends. You need to be cautious though, as Im sure youre aware, not everyones motives are innocent. Otherwise, the internet can be a great tool to vet potential new friends in London. Make sure you assess the person, dont waste time chatting to people outside of London and ensure any meetings are made in public. new2london.net is a great place to meet and vet new friends, make sure you participate in the many fun events to maximise your friend making potential.

3) Use positive body language

You can tell a lot about a person from their body language. Its important to be aware of the image you portray, it often speaks louder than words. Keep your body language open and relaxed; folded arms act as a barrier and clenched fists can make you look angry, keep arms loose and by your side. Remember to maintain eye contact  – looking away or down can send negative signals to the person you are speaking to. And remember to smile, it doesnt need to be a huge cheesy grin but a laidback, casual smile says you are a friendly person before you speak a single word. And finally, relax – tension and nervousness is apparent and is unattractive.

4) Talk to people

Meeting new people and making friends in London requires a little effort; you could be surrounded by people at work, university, at a club or group and in your neighbourhood but youll never make friends if you dont talk to anybody.

Talk to everybody, everywhere; speak to the person next in the queue, the shop assistant, the barman, the person sat next to you, anyone you come into contact with, talk to people at work, university, in a bar, pub  – speak to people everywhere.

If at work, university or anywhere you go, dont sit with the people you usually do – find extra people to hang out with, you need to keep all options open and you never know, you could hit it off.

Dont seek to select certain people over others; talk to everyone. Realistically, in most cases, this will probably go no further but is a) good practise for starting conversations, the ability to speak to anyone is a fantastic trait to have and b) by just speaking to someone you have a chance of making a new acquaintance or maybe a lasting friendship. Repeat this over and over again, until you have made a positive connection, then, you may see where Im going with this, repeat  – you can never have too many friends.

5) Make compliments

This is a really easy way to start a conversation if you cannot see any common ground to start from. Remember to be genuine and confident with your compliments, follow all compliments with questions, e.g. I really like your trainers let them respond, then ask questions. This is a good way to find common ground and to initiate a conversation. Nice gestures will be remembered  – if youve spent a long time talking to someone and youre heading to the bar, for instance, why not offer them a drink? But be careful, dont try to buy friendship – you could end up being walked over.

6) Start a conversation

The best way to start a conversation is to simply introduce yourself and ask them their names. Follow this up with a question, eg who are you here with? and, how do you know them? The trick is to get them to start the conversation without realising it, people will be happy talking about themselves  – your job is to listen and find common ground eg, you play guitar? Me too. Something to remember is that your experience and knowledge will make your conversation more interesting, talk about current affairs, any activities you participate in, or anything youve seen or read that youve enjoyed.

7) Get together

So youve just met someone you really get on with, make sure you organise a meet up in London if you dont you might lose the opportunity to take the friendship any further  – especially if you feel you may not meet the person again. Firstly, offer your contact details, ask them if they want to get together sometime for coffee/lunch/drinks – if you are interested in taking it any further they have your details. Dont worry if they dont offer their own details; if you keep repeating this, someone will get back to you.

If youve already discovered you have a common interest, ask them more about it; ask them if theres a group they belong to, if so, when and where; the chances are theyll invite you to come along – giving you the chance to meet even more people with similar interests. If, on the other hand, you are a member of a group, why ask them if theyd like to come along and check it out.

8) Be a good friend

Once you have a few friends, remember to join in with everything. Remember birthdays, be there for them when they need you. Remember just because you have friends it doesnt mean you can stop putting in the effort. Being a good friend means you are there for the good times and the bad times, certain sacrifices will have to be made to make sure you are there for your friends. If a friendship is one sided, this can cause unnecessary strain. Be reliable, let them know if youre not going to make an arranged meet up and try not to leave them waiting for you.

Learn when to shut up and listen; dont get carried away with yourself and just keep on talking and dont just nod along when they speak, genuinely listen to what your friend has to say and try to help them  – if you understand, let your friend know you are there. The little things are priceless.

9) Choose wisely

You dont have to be everyones friend, be selective -to a point; this will make sure the friends you make are quality. Its not about how many friends you have, its how good they are.
Once you have a few friends you may find that some are easier to get on with than others. You must always give people the benefits of doubt but sometimes you may notice a friendship becoming unhealthy; they could become too needy, controlling, over critical or unnecessarily exposing you to new dangers. If this happens, you may need to get out of that friendship – do it carefully and wisely; take up new activities or join a new group, you can then say, genuinely, you have no spare time for them. You need to think, does this person make me feel good? If the answer is no, trust your intuition and move on.

10) Learn to entertain

If youve met some people you trust, why not invite them to your house to hang out? Give them a reason to come to your home and try your best to make your new friends at home. You could show off your culinary skills in a dinner party, or more informally, you could just have a few drinks and a chat. If you have a games console you could challenge your friends. Being a good host means making sure your guests are comfortable. Alternatively, you could organise events or nights out – your friend will love the fact youve taken the initiative and theres always the chance to grow your friendship circle.

11) Using your hobbies to meet new people

When youve just moved to a new city, meeting people can be a challenge. Although millions of people living in London, it can be quite difficult to actually get to know fellow urbanites. Finding a group of people that shares a common interest or concern is a great place to start. The chances are that if you meet people that have one thing in common with you, more shared interests will follow.

12) Groups, clubs and societies

Whether youre into sport, drama or French movies from the 1950s, there are plenty of groups out there where you can meet like-minded people while doing something you love. Information about local groups and clubs in London can be found online, in local newspapers and in the windows of local haunts. If youre looking for new clubs to join, keep a look-out wherever you go as many shops and cafes will advertise local happenings.

If you cant find a group in your area that matches your interests, why not start your own? Youre probably not going to be the only person in your borough with a particular hobby so you could be doing the community a great service by taking the initiative and creating something new.

13) Sign up for evening classes

Part-time classes and courses are a great way of learning new skills and meeting people with similar interests. If youve always had the desire to learn a new language, improve your drawing skills or get fit but never had the chance to, now could be a great time. It is possible to find classes that are inexpensive and wont interfere too much with work or your social life.

One of the great things about classes is that they recreate an environment everyone is familiar with: school. Remember how easy it seemed to meet people at school? Adult classes dont have to be any different. Youll be seeing the same people every week and can get to know them over time. This kind of situation is perfect for more introverted people. Theres no pressure to be friends with anyone but at the same time youll have the chance to meet people with similar goals and interests.

14) The rewards of volunteer work

Volunteering isnt something that a lot of people consider. We are taught to equate work with financial gain so, for some, it doesnt make sense to give up your time for free. However, even though youre not making money from the experience, volunteering is a great way to enjoy giving something back to the community and meet people who share that feel-good factor.

15) Museum and theatre membership

Are you fascinated by Ancient Egypt? Entranced by art? Just cant get enough Chekhov? Whatever your cultural preferences are, London is full of museums and theatres that host special events for members. Whether it is access to talks, special evening viewings or discounted tickets, memberships are usually reasonably priced and will provide a great way to meet fellow theatre-lovers, history enthusiasts or art appreciators.

Writing that first message can be nerve-wracking. We all know that when it comes down to it we have nothing to lose – either they will reply or they won’t – but that doesn’t make contacting potential friends any easier.

People can gain a lot of confidence online that they might not have in real life; there’s no face to face contact and the messages are private, which alleviates some of the social pressure. There are also a few winning steps you can follow to calm your nerves and help get a new friend in London.

1) Don’t send your contact details in the first message

You wouldn’t go up to someone you don’t know in the street and give them your contact details without saying anything would you? No of course not! Then why would you want to do that online? You need to get to know the person first – if you put your contact details in your first message you will come across as desperate and put the person off from responding to you.

2) Don’t flirt!

If you find the person attractive don’t say that in your first message or they may get offended. Save flirtatious messages until you know the person better.

3) Read their profile

Meeting new people is like attending a job interview. You (hopefully) wouldn’t turn up without reading the job description first and the same goes for people’s interests. Look for what you have in common, what you find interesting and show them that you’ve noticed. Looking at someone’s profile before messaging them can help turn a generic ‘hey!’ message into something a lot more personal.

4) Don’t go into too much detail

Keep some boundaries. A couple of lines is enough for the first message; you want to introduce yourself sharing your life story at this stage might put people off.

5) Be yourself

Trying to impress someone will look just like that: that you’re trying, and perhaps too hard. People appreciate genuineness and natural personality a lot more than a persona. In the long run, it will also cause no end of problems if you’re trying to present yourself as someone you’re not.

6) Stay curious

Remember that you’re the one contacting them so you’ve got to give them something to work with when they reply. Talking about yourself the whole time will leave them with nothing to respond to. Asking questions is a great way to get conversation flowing so try and think of some you genuinely want to know the answer to.

7) Don’t be too pushy

Let the relationship evolve naturally. There’s no pressure; after all, this is supposed to be fun so there’s no point in stressing out both yourself and the other person.

8) Presentation

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do: good spelling and grammar will always make a great impression. If you’re in doubt, run your text through a spellchecking program like Microsoft Word before sending.

9) Tone

Try and strike a balance between informal and polite. You won’t want to sound too familiar at first but, at the same time, a message that comes across as very formal might be intimidating.

10) Choose appropriate topics

So you’ve read their profile and have a good idea of their interests and background. Even so, it’s still important to remember that you don’t actually know this person yet. Just as it’s a good idea not to share too much detail about yourself, don’t ask them about really personal topics that they might feel uncomfortable answering. If you’re not sure where to start, questions about hobbies and careers are a great way to open a conversation.
Above all, remember that the most important things are to be yourself and have fun. You might not find your next best friend in the first person you message, but keep reaching out to people and enjoy the experience.