Dating

People from outside the UK move to London because of the excitement, career opportunities and the chance to enjoy a broad range of entertainment options. But is it more difficult to meet potential dates in London when you are rushing around in a big city?

Cities like London attract busy people who are focused on their careers. This results in a culture built around speed. Fast moving transport, fast food – fast everything! The only time anyone has a minute to themselves is when theyre waiting for something.

People think big city equals more people, which equals more opportunity, which can equal more competition for dates. But its not about numbers its about mentality. People in big cities tend to be more reserved to new people than those from smaller cities or villages. In a village you are more or less forced to be friendly to everyone because there are so few people around – if you dont make friends with your neighbours then who will be your friend?

Studies show that we will automatically reject close to a 3rd of the possible choices in front of us by default. This applies to anything; friends, dating – even job candidates. It has been proven the best strategy to do is to reject the first 37% of candidates regardless of how nice or good they are, so you just reject the best part of a 3rd of the people you meet and then choose the next candidate that is better than all the candidates that youve seen before.

So in a small village of 10 people you would only have to reject 3 or 4 potential dates before settling for a partner but in a big city like London you would have to reject 100s or perhaps upto a 1000 potential suiters. So what we have is the paradox of choice. The task of having to choose is often experienced as suffering, not pleasure. The explosion of choice has made it more difficult for people to identify what they want and how to get it.

The sheer volume of young singles in London will give you the sense that you could meet someone at any time. Most of the time, though, you dont – unless you take the right steps – like joining new2london.com!

You may also find because there are so many online dating sites in London it means everyone is looking out for someone better. Londoners are not just competing for dates either – they are fighting each other for a shrinking pool of jobs, too. Financial stress has brought a shift in priorities for singles in London. The city is sheltering many broke singles.

Thats the beauty of dating or making friends online in London is that not only can you access new people outside of their busy working environment –you can meet dozens of new friends quickly and cost effectively. So instead of spending years finding your life partner you can achieve that goal in months – if you put the effort in of course!

There are a number of pitfalls to avoid when you first try online dating in London. Make sure you get ahead of the competition with your online dating efforts

1) Not being truthful

Heard the joke about the perfect man you have just met online? “Subtract three inches from his height, double his weight, halve his income, and add a decade to his age”

Make sure the joke isnt on you, try and do a little bit of detective work when you start messaging a new potential date online

2) Being too shy

Dont be afraid to put yourself out there. If you want to avoid bad dates in London youve got to have no fear. Be open-minded and enthusiastic about meeting new friends. Dont make assumptions about someones type by their profile – most people are terrible at analysing and describing themselves.

Chemistry is a complicated business. If you think there is at least half a chance you might like someone then start a conversation with them. See the real person behind the profile. Meet within three days from the time you first started talking, otherwise you will lose momentum and that initial spark of interest will fade. Strike while the iron is hot!

3) Bad profile photo

What is the first thing everyone sees on your profile? Your photo! Thats why you want pictures that do you justice and show off your best look. Paying for a professional photo could be the best investment you ever make. Whatever you do dont take one yourself with a camera phone!

Put as much money and effort you can into your photos because they are extremely important to your online dating success in London.

Always smile, do not wear sunglasses, ensure the photo is nicely framed – eg its not cutting off half the side of your head. Avoid posting pictures with multiple people in them. You know what people think when they see these? Either – this person is insecure about their looks (and actually his/her friends is much hotter!) or they will wrongly guess which one in the photo is you.

4) Bad Username

Your user name is the either the first or second thing potential dates will see – after your photo. Its a marketing opportunity. Get it right and you will give yourself an edge on the competition. Get it wrong and you could turn dates away. Dont bore everyone with something clichéd like “SingleGirl” or something overly sexual like “HotnSexy21”. Come up with something clever that stands out or makes people laugh.

5) Dont send generic messages

When you initiate contact for the first time with your date, write and intriguing subject then mention something in their profile so he or she knows you read it. Then share something interesting about you. Keep your initial messages short – no more than two or three paragraphs. Do not send a long-winded essay and include your contact details at the bottom!

Keep the whole message under 200 words, use proper grammar and spelling, and avoid complimenting the person on their appearance or it could look like you are just interested in sex.

Good looking people will get dozens of winks and messages. Give your date a reason to open your message first! Make it stand out among all the others or it has a high chance of getting deleted and never read.

6) Dont take too long to respond

Some experts suggest its a smart strategy not to appear too eager or desperate. If you get a message then wait, and wait… you could wait too long.

Responding promptly is not a bad idea. It will help you stand out from the other dates. Get over it with and message back. Forget the mind games. Being confident is attractive. If your date messages you back quickly – you can get a conversation going – almost like you are speaking face to face. This is the ultimate way to build rapport quickly. You could find yourself in a position to ask your new friend out on a date straight away – without waiting days or weeks. Be yourself and youll be fine!

7) Dont ask someone out straight away

Never ask someone for a date with your first message to them. You need to build rapport with them first. Create some attraction, connection and then intrigue. At that point you are ready to ask them on a date in London!

8) Dont Wink

Avoid sending winks – its just lazy and means the other person has to make all the effort to contact you

9) Dont talk about sex

If you talk about sex too soon 99 times out of a 100 it will be game over in terms of actually being able to meet that person!

10) Unrealistic age gaps

If you are 35 and you state on your profile are interested in ages 18 to 25 – then expect a low response to your messages. Most people will only want to meet people 10 years older or younger than themselves.

11) Dont talk about your Ex

94% of men claim that they have dated women who discussed their ex-boyfriends on the first date. Ex-talk is a majore turn off and it shows that the person has moved on from their last relationship. A new date wants to feel there is a clean slate with the person they have just not. Nobody wants to clean up someone elses mess and carry away their baggage.

12) Dont refer to other opinions of you

Never tell other online dates that your friends think youre cool, that you should be married, or that you are reliable, dependable or any other form of bland testimonial. Not only do these descriptions mean absolutely nothing in the online dating world. It also shows a lack of confidence on your part and potentially it will raise a red flag with your new date.

13) Dont use relationship language

The whole purpose of online dating for most is to meet someone special and start a long term relationship. But there are some steps in between now and that future. Online dating sites are not a marriage brokerage – if though some may claim to be. Very few members will expect to launch into heavy relationship talk early on. Nobody does that until they are sure they like the person. You dont want to scare someone off in your communications by using language such as “looking for the one”, “are you the man of my dreams?”, “can you complete me?”

14) Expecting too much too soon

Online dating in London takes time. Therefore, buying a one month subscription to an online dating site and expecting that to be the solution is unrealistic. Unless you are very lucky you may have to try many dating sites over a long period of time. Perhaps that period of time could run into years.

Have you tried dating in London? Meeting people in a new city can be challenging for anyone, especially if youre looking to meet singles in London. This is your time to reflect on the experiences and values which are important to you, and use that as the foundation on how you develop future relationships. What type of person are you? Consider your passions and interests, and pursue those in order to meet like-minded people.

If youre a sporty and active person, look into joining a team league. With a little internet research, you will be able to find a skill level which is appropriate for you, even if youre a complete amateur! Remember that if youre intentions are to meet singles in London, a sports team is a great option because it will give you a powerful sense of camaraderie. Try suggesting the team goes to a local pub after a great game!

More interested in honing your skills, or developing new ones? Evening courses will meet once or twice a week, and in almost any area of interest. Cooking, dancing, or language classes can be an excellent opportunity to develop casual relationships with people who have similar interests, and you can see who is available other evenings for some extra practice.

You may want to meet singles in London, but sports leagues and courses can be expensive, and have a time investment with a rigid schedule. If that doesnt fit into your life, then try finding an organization to volunteer for which reflects your values. This can also give you an important sense of accomplishment, and that confidence boost will make you more attractive to your potential dating partners.

A lot of the time, finding suitable partners can be a lot like finding a great job, so you may want to approach it with a similar strategy. Try networking through your colleagues, peers, or social circles. Ask around if anyone has any single friends or acquaintances who may have similar interest as you. The great benefit of this is that these people have an idea of who you would be well matched with, and can therefore vet your future dating partners.

Religious groups can be another great resource, because if you are affiliated with a certain religion, then you have a better chance of meeting people with similar values. By getting involved with smaller groups within the establishment can give you a better chance to interact with people one-on-one. Think about what events you can help organize, or participate in.

London has a myriad of great museums, galleries, and landmarks which are often crawling with people of all types, and ages. Navigating through these during peak holiday or weekend hours can be a daunting task. However, museums and galleries sometimes have special nights where they open their doors, attracting those eager to experience Londons nightlife and museums in one go.

Trying to establish yourself in London, one of the most exciting and culturally rich cities in the world, can be a daunting task. However, remember that youre not alone in your quest, and with a little personal reflection, and a little effort, you will find yourself successful. Just dont be discouraged if your first attempt doesnt amount to much. Just keep trying!

Being perpetually single is not something that many women enjoy. While single life can be exciting and enjoyable, it can also get lonely at times. For those who have just moved to London, dating in London can be overwhelming. A bustling city, London offers a whole host of opportunities when it comes to the dating scene. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to have the confidence to go out there and get what they want. There are a number of reasons for this. Some women may feel that they are simply not attractive enough, or do not have the confidence. Self-esteem issues can often be a huge downer.

Attracting a man

Attracting a man is a lot more simple than dating experts will make it out to be. When it comes to finding the perfect date in London, you need to consider what you want. Are you looking for a stable relationship or are you just looking for a casual fling? If you know what you prefer then it will be easier for you to get what you want.

Attitude

The first thing you need to realise is that it is all about your attitude to yourself. Before you can love someone, you need to learn how to love yourself. This means taking care of yourself both body and mind. Take care of your physical health and put a bit of effort into your appearance. Appearance and looks are of course not everything, but it is true that most people are attracted to someones looks before anything else. It is an initial signal that will make a person want to learn more about another individual. Men in particular are very visually focussed. This doesnt mean that they prefer looks above everything else, but it does mean that they are going to be more attracted initially to someone who catches their eye in a unique way.

This is going to mean changing your attitude about yourself. Know that you are a confident and attractive woman. You only look as good as you feel. If you feel good about yourself then you are going to start looking it. You will smile more and have a spring in your step. These kinds of qualities are going to attract a lot of people.

Personality

Men are interested in women who have a good amount of self-confidence. Being self-confident means that you will look as though you are in control and this can be a very attractive feature for any man.

Be a challenge

Many men enjoy the thrill of the chase and the rewards after, just like women do. As a result, set yourself up to be a bit of a challenge. Flirt as much as you like, but try to remain a little bit mysterious as well. Men will want to pursue you a little more and find out more about you.

Humour

Humour is a great way of getting anyone to like you and to enjoy your company. Men enjoy a woman who will be able to make them laugh. They will want someone who is fun and sometimes spontaneous. Humour will also allow you to ease into the situation.

Be approachable

Men want to know that they can approach you and talk to you. Be friendly, but still try to keep a little bit of a distance. This kind of light teasing is only going to make the chase more challenging. So go out there and start dating in London, you could meet the perfect guy, you could make a great friend. Either way you will improve your self confidence.

Dating in London can be a challenge, but attracting a potential partner can be difficult in a big city. Some people seem to attract partners like bees to honey while others never seem to be able to find someone. Many men in particular feel unsure about what it is a woman wants when it comes to finding a male partner. This can make the dating world particularly difficult to navigate.

If you have started dating in London, regardless of whether you are looking for something long-term or just a casual affair, it is important to understand what women are attracted to. Understanding what women want is going to allow you to experiment with your own personality and see what attractive qualities you can bring to the table in order to from a meaningful relationship.

Its not all about looks

Many men think that women are heavily attracted to looks. This is not necessarily true. While good looks can certainly help your cause, this is not the only thing that they are looking for. Women are incredibly complex beings and are looking for something a little more than muscles or good hair. They want a man who is confident in himself and knows what he wants.

Charm

Turning on the charm is always going to help you in a lot of cases. Women enjoy being wooed by the opposite sex, so make a little bit of an effort to win her heart. Offer to buy her a drink. Tell a few jokes. Humour is definitely a great tool and will make you more approachable. Charm is one of those things that you can work on, but it is not going to be the only tool at your disposal.

Self confidence

You do not have to be a successful businessman in order to attract a woman. Whatever you do in your day job, make sure that you take pride in it. Even if you are just a waiter, be proud of the fact that you do a good job and that you are able to pay the bills and put food on a table. Women are interested in men who do not care what others think of them. They like men who are able to be comfortable in their own skin no matter what kind of career they have. You do not have to show that you are the sole provider and can offer her material possessions. You need to show that you are able to look after yourself and are confident in your abilities.

Passion

Passion is one of those things that women are undoubtedly going to be attracted to. A man who is interested in something in particular, one that enjoys his hobbies and is proud of his accomplishments, is someone that any woman will be interested in. This does not mean that you have to talk incessantly about football or what you are interested in, but it does mean that you need to show pride in whatever you do. Like the last point, this is going to help boost your own confidence and your own self-esteem.

Listen

Women like to have someone who can listen to them from time to time. A man who can listen is going to be someone that any woman is going to want to hold onto. By listening to what a woman has to say you will also be able to learn a lot more about her and find out whether she is someone you want to spend more time with. It is ultimately a two-way street and you need to ensure that there is always strong communication. This is true in London as it is in any part of the world.