Dating

Women spend hours talking about men, second guessing their behaviours and over analysing every facet of their beings.
Some say that men are simple creatures and its the women who complicate matters, whilst others believe that men are more complex than we once thought. Get your strategy right when dating in London for years of relationship bliss!

1) Someone to love

This may come as a surprise to you considering women have had it drummed in to their heads that men are mostly only after one thing. In fact, men love to be loved and they can be pretty good at reciprocating too. So on a first, third or fifth date; leave the cynicism at home and believe that it could go further than a quick fondle in the back of a cab.

2) Beauty

This doesnt mean that a woman has to scrub up well enough to rival Gisele. In many instances, supermodel looks are inaccessable and intmidating to a man. A well presented, attractive woman however is not and taking care of yourself is a must. Make sure that your hair, teeth and nails are all clean. Carry a compact mirror around to ensure that any spinach stays on your plate and not in your teeth.

3) Kindness

Weve all met (and broken up with) the I need to be mothered man but even normal, independent and self sufficient men want to be with a woman who is simply kind.
A woman who is gentle and pleasant can appear more attractive in the sense that she would make a good mother to future children.

4) Femininity

Being one of the boys can be attractive because you are portraying yourself as an understanding and fun person to be around. However, out drinking your man and beating him at pool in front of his friends is taking it a tad too far. You still want to be perceived as a member of the female species. This means that farting and burping is a no go area…they may do it front of you but this is one of those moments where what is good for the gander is NOT so good for the goose.

5) Sense of humour

Men dont want a woman who is uptight, stern and a basic extension of their old school teacher. Be relaxed, be sociable and be fun. Resist the urge to moan about the smallest things and try to see the positive in making light of a difficult situation. Leave the nagging to a minimum; its not attractive.

6) Support

Nit picking about leaving the toilet seat up is one thing but criticising your mans every move is a sure fire way to singledom. You and your man should work together as a team; he sees you as his support network; be there for him if he loses his job; try to help in practical ways and comfort him the best way you know how. For some men, this is done through sex; for others its thorugh conversation. Just be there and whatever you do, dont turn on him.

7) Challenge

Once a man is relaxed in a relationship, lazyness can take over causing an air of complacency to surround him – and you. Keeping him on his toes by being slightly unpredictable at times can make him work for you and keep him alert. If he thinks hes going to have his dinner on the table every night; go out with your friends instead. Keep your own social life going and maintain your friendships. Creating your world around him is unattractive.

8) Communicate

Whilst passion and fire can work wonders in the bedroom; shouting your mouth off at any given opportunity is overly dramatic and exhausting.
By all means, hold an intellectual debate and converse to your hearts content but leave the shouting and plate smashing for Greek weddings.

9) Sex appeal

There comes that time in every relationship where fantasy must give way to reality. i.e. the make up comes off, the tracksuits come on and chilling mode has definitely begun.
This is all good and well now and again but let us not forget that men are visual creatures; they need to be stimulated so what they see should be what they like.

10) Trustworthiness

Life is hard enough with a man having to worry about trusting the girl he loves. Keep him challenged but dont lie, dont betray and dont cheat on the guy; be honest and be cool.

Above all else, you want to relish your experiences, for London is so much more fabulous when youre in great company!

Whoever said romance is dead was lying, it just wasn’t trendy for a while but it’s time to bring it back with some top romantic ideas that will let you show your partner how much you care for them without materialistic expenses. Get the fire back when you are dating in London.

1) Creativity

We’re not all blessed with a talent in artistic abilities but sometimes it’s just the attempt as well as the thoughtfulness that counts. Instead of buying that elaborately expensive birthday card for your partner, what about making your own, from scratch? You can include whatever you like on it, make it personal and include some in-jokes that are only shared between the two of you. It’s free, it’s extra special and it’s romantic.

2) Treasure Hunt

If you’re up before your partner or have work on their day off, get some sticky post-it notes and a pen and maybe chocolate or a small gift. Whilst their still asleep/or out of the house, write out a few post-it notes for you to stick around the flat for them to follow. Did you ever have easter egg hunts as a kid? Make it your own and something you think they’d enjoy. You could even make it sexual…

3) Secret

Most romantic ideas work through the element of surprise, so why not keep something a secret. No, I’m not saying keep stuff from your partner but have a plan in advance, whether it’s a weekend break for you both away, a day trip somewhere you’d both enjoy or even learning a new skill to surprise them with. It’ll be impressive and thoughtful.

4) Become a DJ

Not literally, but become one for your partner. If you’ve read the book (or seen the film) High Fidelity, you’ll be aware how important music be very personal for us. Why not make your partner a playlist, either rip it onto a CD or put it on their iPod without them knowing, with a message. It could be songs the two of you love, or something old school that’d remind them of their past. It’s a great gesture.

5) Seduction

Have you got comfortable in a relationship where having sex is just routine? Bring back some seduction! Just because you’re in love and comfortable with each other, does not mean you should stop making an effort. Guys, compliment your girlfriend on something specific, like a dress she wears or how she has her hair, make her feel special and that you notice them. Girls, stroke your guys ego, let him know that he’s the man.

6) Food

Other than sex, eating food with someone is the most intimate act you can do, because they both use all 5 senses at once. If you’ve not gone to a restaurant with your partner in awhile, find a new place and take them out. It does not have to be a special occasion. Or, cook for them, learn a new recipe and make it special. Some foods provide a great aphrodisiac but as you know your partner, make them something you know they love but may not have had in awhile.

7) Picnic

It might be simple but it’s romantic. With the warm weather we’ve enjoyed in London lately, what about surprising your partner for lunch with a picnic hamper and chilling out in a park. You can bring some tunes with you too and set the scene. Or if you don’t have time for a proper picnic, just take a walk in the park, talk to each other without distractions of home like television or the internet.

8) Tokens

Literally a token of affection, perhaps you are both very busy or just want to add something fun, get some paper or card and make some love tokens. It could be “I owe you one foot massage”, write some for yourself too to make it even and surprise your partner with it by asking them to pick a card out of a hat. You’ll both be rewarded!

9) Entertain

For those who love to read, buy a book that both of you will enjoy and take turns in reading it to each other. It’ll be a great alternative to the internet or television and it’s also quite intimate as you are listening to your partner tell you a story. Or, if you’ve got a great imagination yourself, write a story yourself that you think your partner would enjoy. Maybe drop it in their e-mail or write it out and leave for them to find.

10) Bodyguard

If your partner is going away, buy a little cuddly toy and put it in their luggage without them knowing, with a note saying that the toy is there to protect them whilst they’re away. Perhaps if the guy is going away, girls may need to use their sex appeal rather than a cuddly toy, like texting them a naughty photo of yourself, he’ll appreciate it.

Are you lonely or sexually frustrated? Or maybe even both? You won’t be alone, as a lot of other guys share your aggravation but there is a solution to improving your dating life even if you can’t see it right now.

Maybe you’re going on regular dates in London but just not attracting the right kind of woman for you, or you can’t bring yourself to approach women you see in the bar or the street. Well, sit back and read the following that will provide much thought about how you could improve your dating life.

What do you really want?

It’s time to be honest with yourself. What do you really want? Whilst you may say “nothing serious” or “whatever I can get” when asked by your friends, what do you really want on a personal level?

It could be your ideal girlfriend that you want to have a happy and successful relationship with or you feel like playing the field and keeping your options open whilst you meet different women. Just be honest with yourself, because the first thing you can do to improve your dating life is knowing what you really want: Love, Sex, Dating or Friends.

How do I get what I want?

If you’re just wanting to improve your sex life and want non-committal and casual partners then going on dates is NOT the way to go about it. It’s best to be honest rather than to deceive even if you think it might be the only way. You’ll be surprised how many women out there are not looking for serious relationships too.

Or, if you’re looking for someone who is girlfriend material, then stop looking in the clubs and bars. The chances of you starting a romance in a night club are slim, both sexes are there to drink, dance, have fun and flirt. It’s better to meet someone in your day to day life, which can be difficult in London but not impossible. It’s not illegal to say hello to someone…

What are you offering?

Ok, so you’re clear on your goals and what you are looking for but what do you have to offer? I don’t mean money or worth but you as a person. What are your traits? What can you offer a girl depending on what you want?

It may seem difficult to look at yourself objectively depending on your level of self-esteem but it could be why you’re dating life is not successful right now. If you’re not confident at satisfying a woman sexually, then admit it and do some research and get that area of your life fixed.

Or, if you work too hard maybe take up a new hobby or an interest. Add something to your arsenal that makes you unique. It is a competition out there but there is someone for everyone, we all have different preferences and tastes and as long as you offer a positive version of yourself, you’ll attract the same back.

Confidence

Maybe one of the biggest reasons a Man’s dating life is struggling, a lack of confidence can leave a guy feeling lost and hopeless but believe it or not, it can be fixed. So lift your chin up and follow this advice to improve your confidence.

In psychology, confidence is seen to be increased by the act of accomplishment, usually by showing courage. If you are running low on confidence, then you are not achieving enough in the areas in your life.

It could be health, maybe you don’t look after your body as best you can? Or, you don’t socialise as much as you should do? There’s many areas where a man is not achieving and this can cause us to not feel like we are on top of our game. Be aware, and think what you can do that can increase confidence. Join a gym? Aim for a promotion? Change careers?

You are important too

In today’s society, women hold a lot of social power which can be rather threatening to men and thus put them off the dating scene or leave them lost in it. Don’t worry, whilst some women out there may want to call the shot all the time, it’s usually because Men are failing to take the lead.

If you are on a date with a Woman, you should be the one taking the lead. A lot of guys fail at this, by giving her too many options. I know it may seem like the “nice” thing to do but it’s not going to win you any brownie points. Take the control, and lead the date.

Dog Eat Dog

Have you ever been out done by another man for the affections of a girl? We’ve all been there but don’t let that put you in your shell. If you feel you are lacking experience in talking to women, then the next time you go to a busy bar or club then do some ‘people watching’.

No, I don’t mean be a peeping tom but become aware of the men and women in the venue and see how they interact. If a guy has approached a woman or a group of girls, check out his body language, how is he talking to them, what is he doing. It’s important to recognise your competition before you start the game, you can have an advantage by offering something different.

Style

Whilst fashion is as vast as it has ever been, perhaps you could do with a makeover to improve your dating success. If you have any female friends, then ask if they want to go clothes shopping with you, they’ll love to help out in picking things for you to wear and it’s good to get a female opinion on image.

Don’t fall into the trap of looking like everyone else, as much as we all want to fit into society and become acceptable amongst our peers, don’t be afraid to show your personality too. Whether that’s a piece of body jewellery, a tattoo or a crazy t-shirt from Camden Market. Women will remember you.

There isnt a person alive who hasnt felt the overt urge to wring their partners neck after s/he made an insensitive comment/left the toilet seat up/lost their temper over something minor. Is it ever really worth it? Read on to find out how you can avoid the most common arguments when dating in London.

In a fast paced city such as London, life is already hard enough. Some arguments are inevitable and can even be healthy but if you have a loving partner to share your experiences with; youre lucky. Nurture that person and you’ll soon realise that there is no need for unnecessary drama and arguments. Save the fireworks for the place it matters most…the garden on November 5th.

1) Money

Arguing about money is very common amongst couples from all walks of life and unfortunately it can tear a relationship apart. If one person is a saver and the other likes to spend, it is perfect breeding ground for a tumultuous clash of lifestyles.
The key is to discuss your attitude towards money right before your relationship gets serious. That way, there are no surprises and you can make steps to finding a middle ground for both of your lifestyles.

2) Work stress

Working life in London is tough. Take the commute, the underground and the pressure to meet deadlines and targets and youve got one very stressed out person. Stress at work often leads to stress at home with couples taking out their frustrations on one another.
If your partner takes out his/her anger on you try not to retaliate immediately. Most people need a few moments alone when they arrive home from work so avoid talking incessantly about your day straight away. If you wait a while and speak with a calm, soothing voice, the atmosphere will be far more relaxed for the both of you. A glass of wine already waiting for them wont go amis either!

3) Schedules

So much to do and so little time If youve ever uttered this phrase, then youll know what its like to stick to a schedule. The pressure of doing so can often manifest itself in to stress which then results in to arguments. Try to plan ahead but know that if things dont go according to plan, its not the end of the world either. The best moments are often when things go awry and off schedule. Spontaneity is a great aphrodisiac too…just a thought.

4) Housework

If you live together, youre bound to see another side of one another and lazyness is usually prevalent in many households. Arguing over cleaning is as common as muck (sorry) and can lead to bigger arguments.
To avoid such a dispute, communication is again, the key to happiness – and a clean house. There are certain hoousehold duties which some people simply detest doing i.e. the ironing. IF your partner hates doing something, it is futile to expect him to do it anyway. Instead, offer him a task you are not so fond of and find a compromise. Rotas can be slightly forced and restrictive so try not to have anything in black and white. Verbal agreements can work just as well.

5) Sex

Some people dont think theyre getting enough whils others think their partner wants it too much. Whatever the reason, sex can sometimes be more of a hindrance than a help. It is of course important to rmember that there is not a normal frequency for sex in relationships so avoid comapring your sex life to your best friends/neighbours/cats mother. Talking about sex is often a great substitute for foreplay and can proffer a great start to a resolution.

6) Boredom

Youve been together for a while and everything is going smoothly; there isnt a cloud in start. So what do you do? You create one. This is often known as bickering and occasionally lends itself well as a bit of excitement but if one of you is a drama queen, the bickering can very easily metamorphosise in to a full blown argument which is certainly not sexy. Know where to draw the line, or you could find that the line has been drawn under you.
7.The past. We all have one and we all regret certain things that are in it. The past is often brought in to arguments when someone is worried that it can affect their present or future. If your partner happens to have behaved completely differently to the way they behave now, it is normal to feel slightly worried that they may revert back to that person eventually.
There is absolutely no reason why you should know everything about your partners past. People evolve all the time and who they are with you is who they are. If I had a pound for each time someone crigned at a past mistake or act, Id be writing this from my yacht right now.

7) Compatibility

There may be fireworks in the bedroom but if your views on touchy subjects such as religion and politics differ too much, there may be trouble down the line. Either keep a neutral stance when subjects are broached or avoid the subjects altogether. That way, you get to keep that all important element of peace.

8) Blame

When things go wrong, its easy (and convenient) to blame your partner. After all, youve known them for ages, you know they love you and theyre not going anywhere, right? Wrong. Taking your partner for granted is a common mistake and results in many single people who just didnt know where they went wrong. Remember that you and your partner are a team and youve chosen to be  together.

9) Selfishness

Every one is selfish to a certain degree; we know this much. However, possessing an unwillingness to listen to the other person at all is highly unattractive and downright rude.
The easiest way to avoid an argument? Give and take. You love that person, right? You want to be with that person, right? So listen to that person. Your life is easier in an instant; why, its like magic.

Remember when people used to actually talk on the telephone? No, neither do I. Texting has fast replaced the world of verbal talk and where comfort resides, mistakes often follow. In the world of dating in London you need to get your texting right or trouble will ensue.

Its just a little message, it doesnt really mean anything, right? Wrong. That all important text is likely to be analysed and re-read so make sure you write ir right – first time around.

1) No drinking and texting

Its a long awaited night out and youve sipped a few cocktails. Your inhibitions are vanishing faster than Tara Palmer Tomkinsons nose and all of a sudden, an imaginary light bulb appears above your drunken head. Whatever you do, refrain from sending him a drunken text! Drunk texts are way too obvious, unsexy and are rife with evidence that you are thinking about him. Leave the mystery intact and save the texts for the morning light.

2) Peek-a-text

Playing hard to get is as old as the dating game itself but even randomness is a pattern. Game playing is just boring. Pretending you didnt see his text and taking days to respond is as predictable as texting back straight away and if youre not careful; he might just save his words for the girl who did text back. By all means, wait the mandatory ten minutes but leave the delayed mail for the post office.

3) Text-versating

A bit of banter is fine but holding a full blown conversation about serious matters over text is frustrating and nonsensical. You can never fully grasp the persons tone, its a breeding ground for mis interpretations and its basically anxiety in a tiny device. Not cool.

4) Sexting

Whilst it can be welcome foreplay to send flirty texts, make sure you know the guy fully before sending him detailed explanations about what you want to do to him/what you want him to do to you etc. Or you can send him all the filth you like and run the risk of your friends receiving a list of your favourite sexual positions should you fall out.

5) Its not you, its text

No matter how temptingly easy it may be, resist breaking up over text. Its cowardly, rude and it serves as a match to any bridges you may have had. You wouldnt like it done to you so dont do it to him. Simples.

6) Shoot for the texts

Texting for the sake of it is painful and transparent. The guy doesnt care that you just spent £100 on a pair of Topshop shoes nor has he seen Eastenders this week. Make sure your texts serve a purpose or you might find that you no longer do (harsh but true).

7) On a clear day, you can text forever

Clarity is key. If youre meeting him at 7pm, make sure you include where. If youre running late, ensure you include how much longer youre going to be. Texts do not explain themselves; you tell the phone what to type.

8) Double or quits

If you havent received a response to your last text, dont double text him. Its desperate and he probably wont respond to that either. Act aloof, be patient and hell text back.

9) Time and space

Texting when youre in a bad mood or in the cinema is going to result in a text youll regret. Make sure that youre concentrating fully; afterall, its only a little button to send but once its delivered, theres no going back. Just a little tip from me to you.

10) Mr. Right

Weve all been there; sending a text to the wrong person. Sometimes its funny, sometimes its erm…not. Unless you want your mum to know how horny you are or your boss to know what a fool you really think she is; get the message to the right person. Its like a two second job.

Of course, a bit of finger fun (on your mobile phone) can prove to be exciting and fun; thousands of words at your finger tips…just use them wisely ladies…