Dating

She was beautiful, intelligent, funny, witty, cool and most importantly, she was with you. Was being the operative word. So what exactly went wrong?

1) Never taking charge

Were you always expecting your girlfriend to decide when and where to meet? Did you just assume that she would take control and sort out the finer details? I bet it was really comfortable chilling out whilst she ran around arranging everything right? Wrong. Now youre single, starting again and having to make new friends in London.
Whilst equal opportunities are revered and welcomed by any girl, the last thing any of us want is another full time job as a relationship planner. So take it in turns, research and make suggestions. Youll soon find that youre feeding off each other which creates an easier way of life and a pleasant heap of  intimacy and respect thrown in for good measure too.

2) No respect

Its that word again! Sorry guys but lets deal with this word early on to get it out of the way. Of course, respect works both ways and it really is that vital ingredient in every relationship.
Every one argues but so many couples revert to below the belt tactics and remarks to try (in vain) to reclaim lost control in a relationship.
No matter how angry you are, always refrain from petty insults, angry comments about one anothers family and friends and snide remarks.

3) Having no confidence

We’ve all known a person who wasnt particularly attractive but somehow, through bags of confidence, somehow appeared to become the most attractive person you ever met. And it works both ways.
So if your confidence is pretty much non existent, you have a lot of work to do before you can possibly be with someone else.
Girls want a man who believes in himself, who knows his self worth and enjoys his own company.
Smothering your girlfriend because youre worried about losing her, or telling a girl shes out of your league and you cant believe you got her is not a good look.

4) Not having a job

Before you all start calling us gold diggers, this isnt because we want a man to shower us with gifts. A man with a secure job, who wakes up every morning and is a standing member of society (sorry to mention that) is as attractive as the day is long. Of course, there are certain situations that men cant avoid such as not having a job because theyve just graduated and this is understandable but if you choose to stay at home whilst your girl is out working and then you have no money to to things, be assured, your days are numbered.

5) Being unhygienic

This may seem obvious but a man who has body odour, stained clothes or bad breath is all too common. A smart and clean appearance shows that you like to take care of yourself and this within itself, is attractive.
Making sure that you and your clothes are clean is not exactly rocket science and in most cases should guarantee you a second date at the least.
I once went out with a guy who showered once a week. Enough said.
P.S. Girls who go out with unhygienic men tell their friends about it.

6) Being too frugal with money

Generosity is an incredibly attractive trait and can sometimes be a reflection of other elements of the mans character.
Im not saying you should flash your cash and splurge every time you go out but showing your girlfriend that you enjoy life and live it to the fullest is a sure turn on…just make sure its your money and not the banks.

7) Not being spontaneous enough

Every relationship reaches the stage where romance gives way to reality and you find yourself in that dreaded rut of routine. This is incredibly normal, however not doing anything about it is not.
A girl likes to be surprised and as Cyndi Lauper once bellowed, girls do just really wanna have fun.
So if you want to keep the passion and excitement alive, surprise her with that weekend away, come home early from work one day for a night of passion and dont ever just roll over and go to sleep night after night. Boredom is a powerful anathema to relationships.

8) Flirting with other women

Yes, we know that flirting is natural and healthy blah, blah, blah. But seeing our man hitting on another woman is front of us is an open and shut case of Youre dumped!

9) Being a selfish in bed

Whilst it may seem tempting to roll over and go to sleep after youve climaxed, you may as well kiss your relationship goodbye in that very same bed.
Women are far more clued up nowadays as to what they want in bed and a satisfied-man-only does not make for a healthy sex life.
If you have trouble knowing what to do, having an open and honest relationship about needs and fantasies can not only be informative but it can also lend itself as another form of foreplay.
If you want to keep her, start spreading the love.

10) Not showing that you love her

You might really think you do, you might tell your friends that you do and you might never want anyone else again but if you dont show that you love her, then shell never know.
Telling her is an abvious one but showing her in subtle ways on a daily basis will result in a more secure relationship. Little thoughtful notes, gifts, listening to her and remembering what she has said, asking her questions about her day, what she has done and what shes thinking will all result in a big smile on her face…and surely thats what brightens your day, right?

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and whilst we all have different preferences, there are certain things in a member of the opposite sex that when performed correctly, can guarantee a fiery chemistry that will have your date wanting more. Read on to find out the secrets to beign sexy.

1) Make an effort

Chose somewhere nice to go. A venue that is original. Check out things to do for inspiration. Regarding clothing – your dressing gown might be your best friend when youre in front of the t.v. but there are certain times when your clothes, hair and if youre a girl, your make up need close attention. This is one of those times.

2) Look clean and healthy

Research has shown that a tan is attractive because its a sign of good health. This doesnt mean that you should roast yourself under the sun but it does mean that cleanliness = attractiveness. So make sure your hair and breath are fresh and if its summer, your feet are in tip top condition. Dry skin and unmanicured nails is not a good look.

3) Be confident

Looking your date in the eye and having your own opinion is attractive within itself.

4) Be employed

There are certain situations which you cannot control, such as if you have just graduated and youre looking for a job. If however, you have been unemployed for a substantial period of time and youre not trying, this is a top turn off for your date.
Hard-working, driven and ambitious people are sexy.

5) Being polite

It isnt just old people who see common courtesy as an undervalued virtue. Showing concern for others and saying please and thank you portrays your caring side instantly and this is attractive. So when the waitress brings you your drink/food, use it as an opportunty to show that being polite is cool.

6) Smell nice

Whilst it is a real put off when a persons fragrance enters the room before they do, a subtle scent that is fresh and clean can be totally sexy. You can check out some popular fragrances here http://www.theperfumeshop.com/

7) Dress fashionably

This doesnt mean that you have to turn up in the current trend for flourescent yellow anoraks, but a little bit of style wont go amiss.
Ensure that your shoes are clean and that you dont wear more than 3 different colours in any one outfit. You can find some up to date style ideas here http://www.vogue.co.uk/fashion/trends/

8) Be independent

Theres nothing worse than a date who is overly clingy by asking you where youre going or who you are talking to on the telephone or worse, being constantly all over you.
Of course, its lovely to show a bit of attention to your date but giving all of yourself all too soon will reek of deperation. Be interested, be tactile in a subtle way and be warm. Dont be desperate.

9) Dont be afraid to spend

Showing a generous side will inevitably portray you as a generous spirit. Someone who likes to enjoy life and relish the moment is undeniably attractive.
This doesnt mean that have to order Dom Perignon, but steer clear from breaking down the bill when it arrives. Oh and ordering tap water is a sure fire way to never see your date again. Sorry, thats just the way it is.

10) Smile

Yes, its the famous one! It may sound repetitive but smiling really is incredibly appealing. Make sure your teeth are clean and youre good to go. Its an inexpensive way of improving your looks and ultimately people seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. (Lee Mildon).

Living in a vivacious and intrguing city such as London there are so many things to do. That can make choosing a date venue difficult. Where do you start? Read on to discover where to go whether youre on a first date, a tenth date or even if youre going on a date with the city itself!

1) Head first

A first date is nerve racking at the best of times so a relaxing and quiet place with plenty of atmosphere is hot on the list of where to go.
Yauatcha is a unique restaurant serving delicious Dim Sum from midday and also boasts an all day tea house serving 150 varieties of tea.
Opening hours are Mon-Thurs: 11am-11.30pm, Fri-Sat: 11am-11.45pm and Sun: 11am-10.30pm.
For address and details and reviews, click here

2) Too cool for school

Out to impress someone special? Taking the bull by the horns and checking in to an exclusive London bar is sure to score you ample brownie points.
Uber trendy bar Milk and Honey in Soho is an exclusive bar open to members only but it (graciously) allows non members to book in advance by telephoning them.
You can find all of their details here 

3) Nice n Easy

If youre looking for a local pub which is cosy enough to talk but cool enough to stay for afters, The Bobbin in South West London is erm…right up your street.
With delicious traditional food (think bread and butter pudding) and enough character to rival tea at the palace, youll be glad you went.
If youre feeling highly intelligent and want to impress your date, Wednesdays is quiz night. Just dont get too competitive, you want your date to stay until the end!
Clicking here will provide you will all of the important info.

4) Ducking and diving

You might find yourself in a position where youre bored of the standard pub crawl and are after a more quirky, fun filled date. If so, a London duck tour could be the date youve been searching for.
Not only will it give you the opportunity to see London in an overt and interesting fashion, it will also show your date that youre willing to think outside the box and enjoy yourself.
You can find great deals here

5) Show stopping

A trip to the cinema has often been the choice of dates for many, many years. And now you can go traditional with a twist!
The Exhibit in Balham is a boutique cinema which offers romantic seating for you and your date. Housing just 24 people, its the perfect choice for a cuddle (and a sneaky kiss) for the ultimate in  intimate cinema experiences.
Essential details can be found here

6) Monkey business

If you know your date pretty well (and more importantly, you know that theyre an animal lover), a trip to London Zoo can provide a unique, fun day out with plenty of opportunities to take cheesy photos!
Its the only date where youll be able to meet monkeys, amble through the Gorilla Kingdom and marvel and the beautiful Butterfly Paradise Tunnel.
If you want to be really cute, you can take your own picnic and enjoy the view on the many open spaced grassy areas.
Details can be found here

7) Brick a brac

With curry being the nations favourite dish, it would be simply criminal to not enjoy one now and again. And where better to do so than home to the largest Bangladeshi community; Brick Lane!
Sheba restaurant is one of the most popular restaurants which has claimed its fifteen minutes of fame by featuring in Peter Kays John Smiths commercial.
With its modern décor and delicious food, youre definitely on to a winner and we can guarantee that your date will think so too.
To view additional information and to book at table at Sheba, click here

8) Shakesp-air

Not only is visiting the theatre incredibly cultured, you always leave feeling as if youve had a fun day out. With summer fast approaching, what better way to spend a date than at an open air version?
Regents Park provides the ground with the sky as your ceiling. With different plays being shown from now through to summer, including the infamous Lord Of The Flies and an outdoor bar open unitl midnight, youll be spoilt for choice.
For details of how to book and more information, click here

9) Towering love

Self contained buildings with restaurants, bars and brasseries all under one roof are a convenient one-stop-shop to have a great time. Cue the Oxo Tower located on the one and only South Bank of London. With a 250 foot terrace, youll be so consumed by the breath taking views, youll forget why youre there.
The retaurant and brasserie also offer innovative dishes with vegetarian and vegan options available.
Details can be found here

10) Simply London

Finally, if money is a bit tight but your heart is not, taking a stroll along the wondrous River Thames with a couple of sandwiches and carton drinks can take you back to your teenage street romance years. Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament set the scene and the glistening of the river will leave you all soppy and romantic for that perfect midnight kiss.
The best thing about such a city as London is that the amazing views are always open and are free of charge.
For directions, click here

…And if you ever find yourself at a loose end with no one to meet, remember that the city of London is the perfect date. Youre never alone!

You have been dating in London but now things are more serious. Cupid has flown by and shot his arrow in your direction and you are in a relationship. In today’s society, we often experience a number of relationships before we find the right one and we are suckers for dwelling on past experiences.

1) Arguments

As simple as it may be, communication is often a big cause of any problems in a relationship. We all know the theory about Men being from Mars and Women are from Venus, but we are, believe it or not both human beings and in a relationship, communication should be made easy.

But for one reason or another, disagreements can occur in a relationship from something trivial to a full blown argument that leaves us slamming doors and screaming at the top of our lungs.

Experts say arguing is healthy in a relationship and it is to some extent if you are both being mature and diplomatic in solving any problems. However, seeing who can shout the loudest or be the most stubborn is not the right way to go, it will just lead to more arguing and a unhealthy relationship.

2) Honesty

Or, lack of honesty. Both genders like to keep some secrets and that can be a good thing, we don’t want to give our partner ALL our secret, but a relationship needs Honesty for it to work.

What do I mean? Well, don’t be afraid to express how you feel in a relationship. If you have a pet hate that your partner keeps doing then be honest and bring it up, but also be subtle. If you both agree to be honest with each other, you will be building trust and that is the glue of any healthy and successful relationship.

On the flip side, don’t be overly honest. Remember to also be supportive of your partner rather than critical. For example, instead of saying “I hate those chequered shirts you always wear, it’s so unattractive”, instead you can recommend clothes you would like/or think that suit them.

3) Routine

One of the big relationship problems is being stuck in a routine. Whether it’s the working life that dictates when you see each other, or you find yourselves staying in all the time on the sofa in front of the Television. It’s easily done, but can also be resolved.

The comfort zone in a relationship can cause its own problems down the line but once you are aware of it, you can pull you and your partner out by changing your routine.

Instead of staying in, why not take up a new hobby together or see friends? Perhaps you are spending too much time with your partner and you both need a day of the week where you hang out with your own sets of friends for an evening.

4) Unromantic

Similar to the above problem, once a relationship becomes comfortable the romance can disappear. Whether it’s the man no longer making an effort in seducing you (come on guys, the game shouldn’t be over) or the woman no longer making an effort in appearance (or visa-versa with both points).

Set one day of the week or month, depending how often you see each other to be a ‘Date Night’. It’s exclusively for the two of you and should be something new and exciting that you can enjoy together. Check theNew2London site for dating ideas in London if you’re stuck.

Remember, to be spontaneous. Just because you are in a LTR (Long-Term Relationship) should not mean that you should stop trying. Guys, send your girlfriend a text whilst she’s at work and tell her how beautiful you think she is. Girls, let your man know he is needed. Think outside the box, get the excitement back.

5) Co-dependence

Depending on each other or in some cases one person in the relationship could be doting on the other too much. This can only cause problems, like the comfort zone in a relationship.

Whilst being in love can be a wonderful thing, don’t forget who you are. Are you spending too much time with each other? Can you only have fun or peace when you are with each other (or your partner?)

A healthy relationship as inter-dependence, where you are co-dependent on each other which create the love and trust of a relationship but you are both independent enough to do your own things without needing the other to hold your hand. Don’t live your life on the other side of an ampersand (&).

6) Friendship

It’s important to have a great friendship with your partner. Couples who have spent twenty odd years together often say that the key to their long lasting relationship is that they are also best friends.

Whilst, we need best friends outside the relationship, which is also important, we need to be able to develop a strong friendship with our partner too and not let it just be a physical connection.

After all, we are all quite protective of our best friends. We wouldn’t dare to cheat them out of anything or harm them, and it should be the same in your relationship.

7) Compromises

The definition of a compromise is a result of a settlement but how often do I see compromises being made in a relationship that are often a Win/Lose scenario.

If both you and your partner are quite strong willed then you may be too stubborn to reach a compromise easily and keep arguing until one of you gets your own way. It’s not healthy.

Or, in some relationships, one of you may be way too submissive that gives too much power to the other which will only lead to resentment building up and a lack of attraction.

Compromises should be fair for both involved. For example, your partner can watch the football if he takes you shopping. It’s a win/win scenario if both of you keep to your side of the bargain.

8) Threats

A problem to a relationship that can leave you feeling like you have no control is a threat. Maybe your girlfriend has started talking about a funny guy at her workplace or your boyfriend has a very attractive female mate that just makes you feel uneasy.

Often enough, these threats are completely harmless and usually caused by our own insecurities rather than someone trying to steal our partner. It can cause problems, especially with how we handle the situation.

It’s important to make friends, not enemies here. If you’re unsure about one of your partners friends, then befriend them. Find out more about them, they may even be nice once you get to know them. Plus, if you spark up a good friendship, they will think twice about making any potential moves on your partner.

9) Social Circles

Social circles or Friendship circles can often cause problems to a relationship. Like the problem of co-dependence mentioned earlier in the article, maybe you and your partners social circles are too one sided.

Is your partner friends with all your friends, but you’ve barely met any of theirs? The more involved you and your partner are together, the more your social circles will grow together.

But it would be healthy if you both have your own circle that’s just for YOU. Typically, the girl would have a ‘girls night out’ whilst the boy goes out with the guys. It’s ok to mix these circles occasionally but if you are always together in all your circles then it could cause problems, especially if you were to ever break-up.

10) End of the line

Another problem relationships face is probably the worst of all, the End. Whilst we all want to find our soul mateand fall in love or the fear of loneliness can be too hard to bear, we have trouble admitting that it’s over.

This can often lead to the relationship becoming stale and you start to resent each other. It often is the cause of cheating in the relationship too. Do the mature thing and openly talk about the relationship with your partner if you feel that things are not working out.

If you both have inter-dependence in the relationship, then this will come easy. However, if you are co-dependent then it will be more difficult. Acting on problems sooner rather than later will be better in the long term, for the both of you.

If you are reading this, then you are probably in a relationship and are intrigued to know some valued knowledge about an awkward situation that happens from time to time. Or maybe you are currently single and you are just starting dating in London, but that curious side to you wanted to know for future’s sake. Well, whatever your circumstance let’s discuss a problem that can affect both sexes, what to do when your partner goes away…

For those in a LTR (Long-Term Relationship) you may be living together or you at least live in the same area or City and see each other regularly enough for a serious and committed relationship. Or perhaps you are in a new relationship, enjoying that new and exciting feeling…until your partner tells you they’re going away and you’re concerned about where you stand.

Your partner could be going away for a number of reasons; commonly in the U.K. are Stag and Hen weekends which often cause worry to the partner left behind given the reputation of such events. Or, more innocently, they could just be visiting family and friends back in their home town or country.

Whatever the reason, it could fill you with some sense of anxiety about your partner being away. Maybe you are worried about the possibility of them cheating? It’s on people’s minds often than we like to admit but it usually stems from our own insecurities rather than the promiscuity of our partners.

Trust

If you are concerned about your partner cheating whilst they are away, then you need to work on your trust. You should have equal trust whether you are going away together or separately, it should not matter in a healthy relationship.

Also, it is important to show that you trust them and to not let any anxiety or insecurities show as an issue which may lead to an argument and make you feel even more distant whilst you are both apart.

Do something yourself!

Mostly the anxiety about your partner going away comes from you being lonely or bored whilst they may be having a good time elsewhere. So make sure you make plans yourself. It’s a great excuse to catch up with old friends or re-visit old interests or hobbies that you like to do on your own or with friends rather than your partner.

If you have plans yourself, I promise you that your partner being away will not be on your mind as you are too busy having fun!

Don’t be needy

It’s important to not be too needy when your partner goes away too. Yes, it’s ok to tell them that you miss them but don’t keep texting or phoning them. Stay in brief contact but also let them have a good time and also make them miss you, by being busy yourself!

When they come back, you will both have stories to share about your time apart and then you can both declare how much you missed each other. It’s healthy and a Win/Win scenario.

New Relationship?

For those in a new relationship, your partner going away could be trickier, especially if you have not set out any boundaries and know where you both stand.

If your partner is going away, then you should be open and honest about your concerns. Set some ground rules, are you in an exclusive relationship or are you just casually dating without so much commitment?

It’s better to have the talk before they go away or you may ruin your own weekend with worry. At worst, it could cause problems if you or your partner did break some boundaries whilst you were apart and declare the “I didn’t know” card. Being open and honest will not let that be an option.

Once you’ve had the talk, you will know where you stand. And like I said earlier in the article, make sure you make plans and have fun whilst your partner is away.

A healthy relationship is based on wanting each other, not needing each other. So prove to yourself that you can have fun with and without them, it certainly makes for a great peace of the mind.

Are you the one going away?

Perhaps you are the one in the relationship who is going away and you may have feelings like guilt rather than anxiety especially if you are going away for pleasure like a holiday.

Although you will be having fun away, just remember your partner back home and drop them a text or a phone call to say you miss them. They will appreciate it and you will feel better for it too.