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If youre new to the capital then making new friends in London is going to be a high priority for you. However, having your own personal time is also necessary. After all, moving to a new location is a huge change and, although it affects people in different ways, having time to adjust to your new life is important.

Processing Change

Moving to any big city is both exciting and nerve-wracking. London is no exception; as one of the largest and most diverse cities in Europe, it is full of new opportunities, vibrant communities and cultural variety. For some, this could be quite daunting. There is so much to take in and so many new places to explore that it might feel like you dont have time to do everything. Adapting to unfamiliar surroundings, and possibly new job or university, takes time and it is a good idea to form some kind of routine for yourself that you feel comfortable with first. Initially, you might be focused on settling in to your new home, familiarising yourself with the area and getting to grips with a new work environment. If youre feeling a little overwhelmed about trying to meet new people at the same time, take a step back and just focus on your daily life. Once you feel settled there then it will be easier to start meeting others and developing new friendships.

Your London

Striking the right balance between private time and social time will also allow you to discover the many different parts of the city and its cultural offerings at your own pace. Going out with a group of friends often involves negotiation around who wants to do what and where. If you take time out to explore the city on your own occasionally, you can visit the museums and galleries you want to visit and see the sights you want to see without worrying about anyone else.

Finding the right kind of friends in London

Taking the time to work out what kind of friendships you are looking for early on could really help further down the line. Perhaps you just want a few acquaintances to go and see a movie at the weekends or maybe youre looking for a tight-knit group of closer friendships. Whatever kind of relationships you feel you need, the most important thing is finding the right kind of people to have them with. Looking for friends is a bit like flat-hunting: it might be tempting to take the first one you see but if youre not sure about it then its probably best to wait until something thats just right comes along. After all, even if youre just going clubbing every now and again, the chances are that youre not going to have a great time if you dont really like the people youre going with.

Its easy to feel lonely in a big city like London but spending time on your own once in a while to take stock of all the changes youve gone through and work out what you want to do next can be a helpful and positive experience.

Just like any big city, London can be a lonely place. Youre surrounded by people every day yet dont know any of them. If youve been trying to create a network of friends in London without success, dont give up. Here are a few tips for staying positive when times are tough.

1) There are things you cant control

Sometimes, they just dont work out. It doesnt matter how you could have played the situation differently, quite often there will be circumstances beyond your control at work. Dont take full responsibility if you havent managed to find a group of friends yet – its not yours to shoulder.

2) Take care of yourself

If youre feeling a bit down, try and do something relaxing that will take your mind off your thoughts and help you get things back into perspective. Even if work is really hectic, find the time to enjoy life.

3) Analyse your approach

If budding friendships have repeatedly fizzled out, take a step back and look at how you handled each situation. Being self-critical wont be helpful but any self-knowledge you gain from the experience will help you react differently in the future. Try and work out whether youve been approaching the wrong people or whether its something to do with your body language, conversation skills or confidence.

4) Keep looking for new opportunities

Just because the last opportunity didnt work out, dont let that put you off trying again. Remember that opportunities for meeting new people are everywhere and the next one could be right around the corner.

5) Keep up with friends and family from home

If youre feeling lonely in a new city, catching up with old friends and family members from home can help you feel better. As well as giving you a sense of familiarity, it might help to talk through your feelings with people you can trust and see what advice they have to offer.

6) Retrain your brain

Do you continually beats yourself up mentally? Constantly question your actions? Retrain your mind to stop doing that to yourself. The more you talk negatively to yourself, the more that negativity will take over you. Practice positive thinking. If a negative thought comes into your mind, replace it with a positive one. Over time this will become a natural reflex as your brain automatically turns a negative thought into a positive one

7) Exercise your body and mind

Exercise is good for our bodies and our minds? By exercising you release natural endorphins that make you feel better. Exercise has physical as well as mental and emotional benefits. Moving around will keep your body in shape, as well as boosting your self-esteem. The longer and harder you exercise the better you will feel. Try and get at least 30 minutes a day. An hour would be even better.

Do you have a low self esteem? Does it stop you from making friends in London? Does it stop you from living a positive, fulfilled life? The chances are the cause of your negativity is the result of negative programming.

What is negative programming?

In the past you will have probably been told off by your parents or teachers or someone upset you – even if it didn’t feel bad at the time –giving you a negative message. Maybe you had sad moments in your life or at some point interpreted hostile body language that caused a negative reaction in you. Even advertising can have a negative effect, sending messages that you are not good enough. Negative programming occurs when such messages are received repeatedly.

The result of negative programming is a low self esteem, poor confidence and negative thinking which will stop you achieving your full potential.

1) Recognise damaging thoughts

Negative thoughts and low esteem cause you to become unconfident – they are not helpful to you, they only damage you and stop you from being the awesome person you are. They must be stopped! By allowing these thoughts, you are basically letting someone else do the thinking for you, someone who wants you to fail.

These thoughts are everyone from your past who told you that you couldn’t do something or told you that you were bad at something – they are ruling your present and future – don’t let them win!

Every time you try to do something and the voice in your head says something such as ‘I’m untalented’, ‘I’ll never get anywhere’ or ‘I am not beautiful’ – that is your negative programming doing your thinking for you. Listen for these negative statements – how many times do they speak to you and take over your mind and, ultimately, make up your mind?

When you give in to a demand made by negative programming – a statement made by the negative voice in your mind which demands you to think negatively – you are reinforcing your negative programming. And if you allow it to become reinforced it will only get stronger!

2) Positivity results in action

Negative thoughts create a negative reality.  Often because a negative mindset results in not taking action. If you have a positive outlook, positive things will happen because you will take action. Failure is the path to success, if you never try you will never fail, if you never fail you will never be successful.

3) Eliminate Negative thoughts

Once you’ve recognised the negative thoughts, simply replace them with positive thoughts. All you have to do is decide you no longer want or believe this negativity – clear your mind. It’s so easy! When you catch a negative thought, say out loud, ‘No. Delete that.’ It’s just like selecting bad text on a word document and pressing the delete key on the keyboard.  Replace the negative thought with the direct opposite i.e. ‘I’m bad at this’ with ‘No. Delete. I am good’. This stops reinforcement – positive statements will eventually change the way you think and deprogram the negativity that rules your life. It really is that simple.

4) How to stay Positive

a) Focus on the present and future. The past is gone – the hurt, pain, rejection and negativity are actually gone but you are choosing to relive it.  Say No! And negativity that used to rule your life will disapere, for good.

Think about what you have today. Focus on that and what you have to be thankful for. Think about something specifically – it can be anything your health, possessions etc.  Let the joy it gives you fill your mind.

b) Focus on how you can make your life and the world better – not what others expect or expected of you.

c) Visualise positive moments – think about positive things that have happened to you – this diverts your mind to a good place. Think about positive events in the future – create a picture of it in your mind and let the energy flow around you mind.

I can categorically state that there is no such thing as luck- science has proved it.

I’ve always thought luck was really just about being in the right place at the right time. But there is a reason  why certain people are in right place at the right time. And if you are unlucky, you can change it. It’s as easy as opening your eyes.

Take a lottery winner, they are not lucky, per se, they just bought a ticket and when the balls came down with the number they chose the odds were in their favour. Luck is much more about opportunity – the lottery winner bought an opportunity. That is all.

Heres how to be lucky.

Luck is a state of mind not a state of being

Psychologist Richard Wiseman conducted a study on luck. He surveyed two groups of people. Group one were the people who considered themselves to be lucky, whilst group two consisted of people who found themselves to be unlucky.

Both groups were given a newspaper and were asked to find out how many photographs the newspaper contained. The findings showed that those who were in the unlucky group took, on average, two minutes to count the photographs. But those in the lucky group took just a few seconds, on average, to count the photographs.

Ok, so lucky people have an amazing ability to be able to count photographs, right?

No, it’s much simpler than that. The people who were super-fast at counting the photos, the so called lucky group, found a message on page two that read, ‘stop counting. There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.’
The unlucky group, of course, missed this message because their main focus was counting photographs.

So what does this tell us about Luck?

Luck has nothing to do with being lucky. But it is about being in the right place at the right time. Why? Because if you keep yourself open to opportunity, you’ll have a greater chance of being in the right place at the right time – do you get me? Because the ‘lucky’ group were more open and observant, they found the message.

Secrets of the lucky

According to Wiseman, “Unlucky people miss chance opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to parties’ intent on finding their perfect partner, and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through the newspaper determined to find certain job advertisements and, as a result, miss other types of jobs. Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there, rather than just what they are looking for.”

Wiseman carried out a second test – which involved participants looking at a computer screen. They were told to focus on a large dot in the centre. Then, without warning, a number of other large dots appeared on the edges along the screen. Most participants saw the extra dots.

Another test was carried out where the subjects were told they would receive money if they looked at the centre dot accurately. Nearly all missed the extra. According to Wiseman, ‘The harder they looked, the less they saw.’

So, focusing on just one specific thing makes you blind to what is out there. If you look for specific jobs in specific places you could miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Same goes with relationships – if you have a specific ‘type’ you’ll probably miss out on meeting or having a relationship with someone really special.

Get out there, keep yourself open to opportunity and be lucky in London.