Mark Andrew

Will your relationship stand the test of time? You have been dating in London for a while and you’ve finally found someone who you really like. But is he the real deal, or is he just using you? Answer these seven questions to give you a better idea of whether to get serious or whether to move on.

1) Is he secretive?

Does he voluntarily offer up information about what he is up to, or does he seem to live a double life? If he is acting shady then the chances are he has got something to hide. Being in a relationship is all about honesty, so if there are secrets from the word go then it will be doomed for failure.

2) Do you feel valued as a person?

Or do you feel like everything is done for his personal gain? Relationships are all about putting your partners needs ahead of your own and finding compromise. If you seem to do everything for him but get very little in return, then this will not result in a healthy relationship.

3) Does he try to fit into your life?

Has he made an effort to meet your friends and family? Does he ask you questions about your work and attend events with you where he may not know anybody? If the answer is yes, then it is likely that he is interested in sticking around. However, if he makes no effort to fit into your life and get to know the people who are close to you, then your relationship wont have much longevity.

4) Does your relationship revolve around sex?

Is he interested in hanging out with you and doing non-sexual activities? Sex is important in a relationship, but it is also vital that you enjoy quality time together outside the bedroom. If he only ever contacts you for sex then your relationship is not going to stand the test of time.

5) Can you be yourself around him?

Are you able to relax and completely be yourself in his company? If you find yourself creating a different persona to keep him interested, then you are probably not as compatible as you would like to think. It is impossible to keep up a façade long-term, so if you feel like you are pretending to be someone youre not around him, then the relationship will eventually break down. Make sure you are 100% comfortable in his company, and vice versa, before entering into a relationship.

6. Do you feel happy around him?

Happiness and attraction are two very different things. Whilst the initial excitement will fade after time, someone that truly makes you feel happy will continue to do so long after the honeymoon period is over. If he makes you feel confident and good about yourself, then he’s a keeper. If you feel worthless and down after spending time with him, then he’s better off forgotten.

7. Does he encourage you?

Encouragement from loved ones is essential in order for us to be motivated in life. If he never offers you any encouragement then you will end up feeling discouraged and even isolated. A good boyfriend will cheer you along even when things are going badly. If he is more interested in his own goals than yours then he is not a good potential match.

Sometimes I wish there was a set of rules that dictate dating and explicitly set out what is required and what isn’t of each sex. However, these rules do not exist, but I have listed below 10 things that if a guy fulfilled on a first date, I would be suitably impressed.

A lot of guys think that to impress a girl, you have to flash around a lot of money, however, I find that the simplest things are the best. Read carefully guys, below is a list of some of the simple things that can take you from a zero to a hero when dating in London.

1) Buy her flowers

You may think this is outdated, but nothing beats flowers. It could be a single flower or a bunch, it doesn’t matter, flowers impress and never get old. They are also a nice reminder for the girl the next day of how amazing you are!

2) Dress nicely

I’m not saying that you should be wearing a full suit, but a collared shirt never goes astray with some fitted jeans. If you’re feeling adventurous or a bit chilly, you can always throw in a jacket. The jacket is also handy later in the evening if your date needs a little extra warmth!

Make the effort. There is nothing better than opening the door and seeing a well presented man on your doorstep with the flowers described in point one.

3) Have a nice scent

I could write paragraphs upon paragraphs on how much I like to hug a guy who smells amazing, but I just don’t have the time. Just know that there is something incredible delicious about a guy with a great cologne. Nothing too overwhelming, but something that has the girl leaning in for more.

4) Arrive on time, if not five minutes early

There is nothing more annoying than someone who is late. Whether it’s a first date or the fifth date, be on time! In this day and age where we have mobile phones and can contact each other if we are running late, we have become complacent. Remember when we didn’t have mobile phones? You organised to meet someone at a certain place at a certain time and you would be there because there was no way to change plans. That is the mentality that we should have; always.

5) Don’t talk about yourself all the time

In particular, no one wants to know what a great job you have, how much you get paid, the people you know and how you are the first to be invited to any event. In fact, try not to talk about great you are all the time. It gets old. However, this doesn’t mean don’t talk about yourself, it just means that there is a big difference between confidence and cockiness.

6) When she talks, LISTEN!

Don’t just pretend to listen, actually do it. Trust me, you’ll reap the rewards when you surprise her by remembering something she said earlier in the night.

7) Try to take her somewhere fun

While dinner or the cinemas can be nice, try to be imaginative. Consider the weather and season. Think outdoor cinema in summer, ice skating in winter and always, always have a back up plan. What can be a romantic walk along the river isn’t so romantic when it is raining and miserable. Click on these ideas if you havent got a clue.

8) Show her YOUR personality

Personality can take a guy from a seven to a nine, easy. A guy who can make me laugh and better yet, a guy who can laugh at himself; HOT!

9) Don’t get drunk

This is key. There is nothing more irritating than a guy who is clearly struggling to keep it together and tends to ramble in a conversation because they don’t actually know what they are talking about. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t have a drink at all, but know your limits and stick to them.

10) When it comes time for the bill, pay

While the girl may offer to pay half, the gentlemanly thing to do is to pay for everything. This is also a good way to get another date if you are interested in the girl as you can tell her she can pay next time. If you don’t want another date with the girl…well I’m pretty sure I don’t need to tell you how to go about that and if you do, then you have bigger issues than learning how to impress a girl.

So while this list is a great start, it is not exhaustive. There are many other little things that you can do, use your brain. As a general rule, being a gentleman is a winner. Open the door for her, walk on the road side of the footpath when strolling (I actually learnt that one from a guy I dated…it has something to do with keeping the girl safe from traffic. Think about it), and be polite no matter how awful the date is.

So keep these in mind on your next date and good luck!

Here is the good news: anyone can be successful at online dating in London! London has a population of more than 8 million people. London is a culturally diverse city – there are potential new dates from countries all over the world. The choice is incredible – you will find things to do that match your interests and tastes – no matter how obscure they are. There is truly something for everyone.

So getting involved in online dating in London gives you access to a wide variety of potential partners as well as a huge choice of exciting dating venues and activities. But beware there are still a number of pitfalls which must be avoided in order to improve your chances of finding someone special.

The first key to success is to create a great online profile. Sure you need all your key information such as age, height, weight, eye colour etc but you will need more than that to be the centre of attention.

Get a great online profile

It is vital to sex up your profile – make it interesting and fun. Think of your favourite things to do, what makes you tick and what you would enjoy doing with friends in London. 25 to 40 words should be about right. Make your profile too short, and you won’t give enough away for a potential new date to know if you have enough in common. Too long and you may come across a little crazy! Try to avoid clichés such as I have a good sense of humour or bubbly personality. These phrases are just too overused to have any impact. You need to get creative. List your favourite books, movies or types of music. Your entertainment choices say a lot about you. Also entertainment is a nice safe ground to start from. It avoids potentially tricky subjects such as politics and religion.

What is your USP?

A unique selling point (USP) is what millions of businesses around the world work on when releasing a new product. They know the more unique their products are the less competition there will be and the more they will sell. You need a USP too. You need to stand out from the crowd and eliminate all those other 7.999 million others looking for dates in London.

What is laudable about you?

Have you appeared on TV? Did you go to school with someone famous? Have you climbed Mount Everest? Have you DJ’ed at a nightclub? You need to think what will make you stand out from the crowd? If you enjoy sport then talk about a recent game you have been to see or match you have played in and how you got involved. The more information you go give, the more interest you will create and the more offers you will receive.

Set your expectations

Set yourself realistic expectations of what you are seeking through online dating in London. You will need to message 30 or more people to get 1 date. Don’t be discouraged – that’s typical of how many messages it takes to find the right person. After a few dates your confidence will be up and you can raise your game for what might be that special one further down the road.

Its time to meet

Once you have found a suitable match online, and have shared a few personal messages and emails, Then arrange to meet in a suitable public place which you both know well. On your date be polite, respectful and aim to have fun at all times. Londoners are a busy bunch and do not want to waste their precious time.

Do not overstretch yourself in committing to too many dates in a short period of time. You will likely get confused and meet the wrong person at the wrong time. Take things casually to start with and see how things go from there. You dont want to be too keen too early.

There are so many things to do in London that you should never be short of ideas and so many fabulous people that the one for you is bound to be out there somewhere, you just have to look. Good luck!

Many women, especially those living in a huge city such as London, find themselves asking the question how can I make a man fall in love with me? What makes a man fall in love is a baffling one indeed. While the answer is not clear-cut, dating experts agree on some general principles. Men have intrinsic needs that a woman must fulfil before they can connect emotionally with her. When a man realises that a certain woman satisfies these criteria – he will be ready to commit.

It can be hard to meet new friends when moving to a large city like London. Dating in London can also be especially challenging because of the level of commitment people have to their careers. Time is the enemy of love. So lets find out – what makes a man fall in love with you?

Do you match his dream woman?

Every man, whether consciously or not, has a mental picture of the woman he wants to be with. Initially attraction is physical – he could be drawn to you by your physique, hair, face, smell, or something that he cannot pin point. To find out more about his “type” you can simply ask– “What type of woman do you normally go for?”

Be authentic

You can put on an act to trick him into a quick fling. But if you want a lasting relationship, then just be yourself. Dont try to please him by adopting characteristics you think will please him. Why? – because you cannot fake things forever.

Be flexible

Try to be like him. Be flexible when it will bring something positive to your initial dating experience with a new man. Take time to learn your man and to understand him. Men like women that are easy going – if you are overbearing and pushy you will drive the man away.

Show your feminine side

Sure its great to be an independent woman, but if you appear too self-assured your man may get insecure. Let him see your weak side so he can be masculine and dominate. Protecting you from harm makes him feel manly. Once he feels needed, he will commit to you emotionally.

You dont need to present yourself as helpless. You can give him a task, even if it is something you could do yourself, ask his opinion where it matters, and display your softer, feminine nature.

Brains as well as beauty

Every man loves an intelligent woman. The way you present your arguments and opinions matters. When a man asks your opinion, the response he gets will play a big role in helping him decide whether you are a woman of value. Try and avoid confrontation. Even if you are more educated than him – be gentle and give your ideas in a way that does not hurt his ego.

Be his rock

If you are really interested in a man and you want him to fall in love with you, admire, and respect you, the approach is very simple: bring out the best in your man. Every woman possesses this power. A man will increasingly fall for a woman who helps him realise his dreams. You can help him nurture his visions and achieve his goals. Make yourself an essential part of his life and he will do the same for you.

Texting is an easy and cheap way to communicate. A text message can get across what you want to say better than speaking face to face. If you are looking to meet new people in London, the convenience can be a godsend. However, there are many pitfalls to the simple art of texting. Here is a list of the most important problems to avoid when you want to meet people in London via text.

Have something interesting to say

Texts that amount to “What are you doing?” only inspire vague answers and can be seen as controlling in relationships or plain irritating in a dating context. This is especially true if have just started dating. London is a huge city and people treasure their time and privacy. Leading with bland questions is generally not a smart idea.

The dangers of autocorrect

Whether you are sending a text to the man you have started to dating, a work colleague or your boss – spelling is important. You make judgements of other people when face to face eg how they dress, their body language and their voice tonality – the same goes for texting. The information in a text message is two-dimensional, only your words and how they were typed are judged so avoid short cuts and make sure your spelling is correct or you run the risk of being judged negatively. Be careful to double check autocorrect hasn’t inadvertently changed one of your words before you press send – or you could seriously embarrass yourself!

Read between the lines

If someone is replying to your novel length text with short answers, this means they are either busy at the time or just not into you. Respecting peoples space is important and your friends and partners will thank you for it. If your texts are getting one word answers and contain no questions back to you it might be time to more on to someone new.

Short and sweet

Sending long or repeated messages was not what text messaging was invented for. If you want an in depth conversation, call or email your new friend. If a text conversation is going on for more than 3 messages, the chances are you will save time and get what you want to say across much better with a phone call.

Do not text when drunk

This piece of advice goes for all electronic communication. Like oil and water, alcohol and technology do not mix. Things that may seem profound at three in the morning after 10 beers often make no sense the next morning. Stay away from Tweets and status updates too, you can deny you said something stupid, you cant deny youve written it when its there for all to see. If you have work colleagues or bosses reading your feed, that spells double trouble and becomes especially important. You wouldnt be the first to lose your job for a stupid moment of drunk typing.

Avoid arguing

It is impossible to gauge intonation within a text; this is why anachronisms like “LOL” were invented. What might be a mild disagreement can easily turn into full blooded warfare within the confines of text messaging. If you need to talk about something with a person you are dating in London, call them or speak face to face, its amazing how much information can be lost without body language and tonality and most of the time these gaps are filled with our imagination, insecurities and grudges.