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Mark Andrew

How To Tell She’s Not Attracted To You

Mark Andrew · October 26, 2016 · Leave a Comment

So you’ve gone out and met a girl – you could be dating or she could be a friend of a friend – either way if you notice any of these behaviours, give up as, chances are, she’s just  not attracted to you.

Sometimes, some of these behaviours are an indicator that she’s so attracted to you she can’t trust herself around you. But, that’s so rare so, unless you notice indicators that she’s attracted to you. Don’t kid yourself, she’s not into you; don’t waste any more time chasing the wrong girl, move on and get back out there.

Eye contact

Eye contact is a great indicator as to whether she finds you attractive or not. If she won’t maintain eye contact with you for more than a few seconds, then she’s probably not interested in you.

She keeps a distance

If she likes to keep a distance of about 1 foot (30 centimetres) constantly, then I’d say she’s not interested.  The same goes if she hasn’t made any physical contact with you – when a girl is attracted to someone, she’ll let the other girls in the room know that she likes you by making obvious physical contact. So an accidental brushing probably won’t count.

She repays you

If you take a girl out for a drink and:

she won’t let you buy her a drink, or
insists on returning the favour if you do, she’s probably not attracted to you.

The reason?  She doesn’t want to feel like she owes you something.

She doesn’t get back to you

She’s not too busy, she hasn’t accidentally forwarded you to voicemail and no, she hasn’t lost your number; if she doesn’t get back to you, she’s not interested. If she really did like you, she would find the time to respond to your calls, emails, texts or messages.  So, if it takes her a day or two to get back to you then she doesn’t find you attractive and pursuing it would be pointless.

She doesn’t want to know

That is, she never asks you to go into more detail. Quite simply, if you’ve been out on a few dates, or if you’ve met her a few times with friends, and she doesn’t want to know any more about you, she’s not attracted to you.

She tries to set you up with her friends

This is probably the most obvious sign that she’s not interested. She may use this as tactic to get rid of you and your affections. Think about it, girls generally like to set their single friends up, so, if she starts talking about her friends and:

makes it obvious to you that they are single and,
asks you what you think about them , then she’s  not interested in you.

She avoids spending time alone with you

If she’s always got her friends with her then she’s probably trying to distance herself, stopping you from being intimate with her and, therefore, you can accurately deduce that she’s not attracted to you.

How To Tell She Is Attracted To You

Mark Andrew · October 26, 2016 · Leave a Comment

We’ve all done it, embarrassed ourselves by hitting on a girl we have no chance with. To be able to tell if she is attracted you read this simple guide – don’t be a fool!

Picture this, you are out on a great night in somewhere in London and a guy has come up to speak to you. How do you tell if he is attracted you? Read on and find out how you can tell, from his compliments, whether he actually likes you and wants to ask you on a date in London or whether he just wants to get you into bed.

First Glance

A vital sign, as to whether she finds you attractive or not, is when you first catch each other’s gaze from across the room. If she likes you, she’ll hold the eye contact for a little longer than normal, maybe a second or two. Then, she’ll look away. The telling sign, if she’s really interested, is if she looks back at you smiling.

Mirroring

Mirroring is when we slightly copy each other’s movements and body language. So, she goes for her glass and drinks the same time as you do, or maybe she’ll touch her face the same time as you, that’s a good indicator that she finds you attractive. This goes for both men and women and usually occurs when we want to get someone to like us.

Change in posture

If women see someone they find attractive looking at them they will change their posture, arching their back to appear more curvy and attractive to men. If you catch a girl who you are looking at or talking to do this, then she probably likes you.

She’ll play with her hair

Yes, it is true! When a women sees someone they are attracted to they will go through a series of self checks to ensure their hair, or her make-up, is ok. These checks will generally be pretty subtle so she may not, as the myth goes, actually play with her hair.

She’ll soften her features

Usually, when people do not know that they are being watched they will have quite hardened features. But if a woman finds you attractive, she will do her best to soften her features and become more smiley so that you will find her prettier.

Touching

If she likes you, she’ll make a signal to the other women to tell them to back off, ‘he’s mine!’She’ll do this by subtlety touching you whilst you are speaking – usual places are the arms or the shoulders. So if this happens, and it’s not an accident or to push you away, then it would be fair to assume she likes you. Another way to find out if she finds you attractive, is if she leans into your personal space.

A more proactive way to work out whether she is attracted to you is by touching her or moving into her personal space – if she is comfortable with you, and possibly attracted to you, she will not mind.If she pushes you away or appears uncomforable, back off!

The first glance

When you first cast eyes upon each other, if he is attracted to you he should hold eye contact for a little longer than normal – this would probably be no more than half a second. Then, he will break eye contact and look away. But if he’s interested in you, he’ll look back at you again.

He’s looking at you

Maybe he hasn’t caught your eye yet but if, say, you are at a bar and a guy looks over at you more than once he probably likes you. Same goes if you are listening to someone speak and he keeps looking over at you.

Smiling

When a man finds someone attractive he can’t help smiling but then he’ll try to hide it a little. You should then see a half smile and, if you saw him smile fully first, this indicates he may be attracted to you.

The approach

If he’s attracted to you, he’ll want to come over. If you like him you should indicate that you want him to approach you by smiling, being warm, friendly, by being yourself and having fun. Playing hard to get is not a good idea – don’t start a potential relationship with game playing – you may set a precedent.

Singled out!

If he wants to get your full attention he’ll try and single you out. This could mean separating you a little from your friends, standing in front of you – blocking out your chances of catching someone else’s eye – or, if you are sitting,  by putting his arm along the back of the chair.

Animal signals

We are animals, after all, so if he likes you one way to tell is if he acts like an alpha male. What he should do is try to make himself look bigger by putting back his shoulders and sticking out his chest. This is him showing that he’s strong and will be able to look after you.

Eye contact

If he’s listening to you, he should look you directly in the eyes. But if his eyes drift down your mouth and back again then he’s probably thinking about kissing you.

How to tell he wants to ask you out

If he wants to ask you out he’ll give you a lot of eye contact. If you like him, encourage him to ask you out him by smiling, making lots of eye contact and flirting with him.

Compliments

It’s a well known fact that ‘pick up’ systems tell guys to compliment girls. The thing is, these compliments are usually false and designed to trick you into sleeping with them. You can usually see through these false compliments – if a guy you’ve only just met compliments you on your appearance or something about you that he doesn’t know much about, he’s probably trying to ‘pick’ you up.

But if a guy comments on something specific, other than your looks, it’s because he finds you interesting i.e. he may compliment you on your career, on something you’ve accomplished or he may compliment you on a common interest. This type of compliment shows he wants to get to know you and likes you for more than your looks. If you want to know if a guy is genuinely attracted to you, and not just trying to pick you up for sex, see what he choose to compliments you on.

And if she’s not attracted to you…

On that note, yeah, it’s a sad fact that not every woman will find you attractive. Here’s how to tell if she’s not attracted to you.

She won’t laugh at your jokes

Laughter is a form of flirting – if she’s not laughing when you crack jokes, regardless of how great or lame they are, she’s not interested.

Telling signs

If she stays about a foot away from you while you speak you have no chance – same goes if you move into her space and she looks uncomfortable. Also, If she won’t hold eye contact for more than a second then it is safe to assume that she does not find you attractive

How To Decode Job Descriptions

Mark Andrew · October 25, 2016 · Leave a Comment

Sometimes, reading job descriptions can be like trying to crack a secret code. If you misread a job description you could miss out on landing your dream job. Job descriptions are generally written with a keen eye on word count, and, as such, tend to leave out the most important details. Learn how to read between the lines and how to decode the familiar phrases recruiters like to use.

1) The job description

First things first, you need to work out what the employer for each specific role actually requires. Let’s look at a typical job description:

Location: London Salary: £40-45 pro rata

We are currently recruiting for a Business Development Executive role with one of the UK’s leading providers of digital marketing solutions. We provide a range of innovative, integrated solutions, from social media campaigns to email marketing. Part of the company is a leading global provider of email marketing software and support. This section explains the job and its functions:

The role of Business Development Executive is an exciting opportunity to sell our services to other digital and media companies and to build a career with a market leader.

The following expertise is required to succeed:

•Digital and social media background

•Proven Business Development experience of Digital products and services

•Ability to build a sales pipeline and convert opportunities

•Ability to communicate with all levels within business

We are seeking a Business Development Executive to ideally target the growth sectors within the online media/social networking industry but the ideal candidate will already possess a proven background in identifying, developing and converting opportunities within the relevant areas mentioned above.

You will ideally be targeting small – medium sized set ups and to develop your own portfolio of new business although there will be a degree of Account Management with established accounts too.

This is a Field based role however the Business Development Executive would be preferred to be located in London, UK but can work from home as a base. So if you are a self starter, hungry to succeed and can demonstrate a proven track record of sales and winning new business then this is a fantastic opportunity to join a multinational company that invests in its staff.Training will be provided, however, a superior knowledge of the digital industry and a keen business acumen is required. The superb salary and benefits package on offer means that only those that can demonstrate the required skills outlined above will be considered.

2) Analyse each section

Now we can highlight and organise the important information. You should get into the habit of doing this for every position you intend to apply for. Later, we will work on building a job description vs. personal spec sheet {link to below}. But first, let’s look at the important information. Ready? Here goes:

This section is concerned with the activity of the company:

We are currently recruiting for a Business Development Executive role with one of the UK’s leading providers of digital marketing solutions. We provide a range of innovative, integrated solutions, from social media campaigns to email marketing .Part of the company is a leading global provider of email marketing software and support.

This section explains the job and its functions:

The role of Business Development Executive is an exciting opportunity to sell our services to other digital and media companies and to build a career with a market leader.

This section explains the personal requirements of the job:

•Digital and social media background

•Proven Business Development experience of Digital products and services

•Ability to build a sales pipeline and convert opportunities

•Ability to communicate with all levels within business

This section describes the responsibilities of the role:

We are seeking a Business Development Executive to ideally target the growth sectors within the online media/social networking industry but the ideal candidate will already possess a proven background in identifying, developing and converting opportunities within the relevant areas mentioned above.

You will ideally be targeting small – medium sized set ups and to develop your own portfolio of new business although there will be a degree of Account Management with established accounts too.

This is a Field based role however the Business Development Executive would be preferred to be located in London, UK but can work from home as a base.

This section is selling the benefits of working for the company to you:

So if you are a self starter, hungry to succeed and can demonstrate a proven track record of sales and winning new business and can multitask to a high level, then this is a fantastic opportunity to join a multinational company that invests in its staff. Training will be provided, however, a superior knowledge of the digital industry and a keen business acumen is required. The superb salary and benefits package on offer means that only those that can demonstrate the required skills outlined above will be considered.

3) The 3 parts of the job description

Responsibilities

Information and activities critical to the role and the company – have you worked in a similar company or industry before in a similar position?

Skills

Skills and attributes that are essential for the job. These could be “soft skills” – eg for Sales it could be ‘good communicator’. Or for technology roles it could be “hard skills” eg must have expert Javascript skills.

Experience

All employers will be looking to match your work experience with the kind of work you will be doing in your new job. If you are applying for your dream job and your experience is not a close match can you tweak your CV to make it more suited?

4) Skills match

Your objective is to match your skills with those which they expect from the person right for the job – if they don’t, then the job is not right for you. Also important is that you know these from the offset. You will need to match these attributes, skills and other employer needs and wants and, as the employer has requested or suggested these skills, you will need to prove you have them right from the start of the application process. This will form the basis of your whole application from CV, Covering letter right through to the interview – they will make up your objective statements and career experience elements of your CV, your covering letter and answers to question asked by the recruiter in the interview.

Target Position You
Objective of the role and job functions  ? Here you add the matches from your own career experience.
Skills  ? Here list your own skills relevant to the role plus any which you posses which are not listed but which you feel are relevant – highlight theses a different colour.
Soft Skills  ? Add your own personal attributes here – list all the relevant ones.

Have you completed any research? Use the knowledge from your research and personal experience to fill in any missing skills and attributes. Add them to to your table.

5) Common phrases decoded

Often, employers load job descriptions with key words such as ‘self starter’ and ‘Works well under pressure.’ But what do they really mean? Could the recruiter be ‘tweaking’ the job description to hide what they truly mean?

‘Self starter’ or ‘willingness to work independently.’

And other similar phrases decoded simply mean that you are able to get on with your work without, having to be told what to do constantly. In order to do so, you’ll need great knowledge of the job and the industry processes so similar phrases such as, from the sample listing above, ‘a superior knowledge of the digital industry and a keen business acumen’ can imply the ability to work and manage yourself without support of others. Are you comfortable setting your own goals and with working independent? Other cynical commentators may say this points to a lack of cohesive management and training and that, once in the job, the candidate would have to fend for themselves. A good indicator, at the interview stage, would be whether the interviewer, usually the manager, knows the ins and outs of the roles responsibility – beyond the obvious stuff mentioned in the job description.

Ability to identify and resolve problems

This could mean a number of things such as you’re going to experience a lot of challenges, it could mean the company is in a mess and you are expected to sort it out, or it could mean the organisation is a bureaucratic nightmare. On the whole this characteristic requires you to think independently and on your feet.

Works well under pressure

This could mean that you are going to have a manager breathing down your neck at every opportunity. It could also mean tight deadlines and the high attention to detail of a manager.

Agent of change

This means, basically, the company is in a mess and they want you to sort it out. Of course, if you do ‘sort it out’ you could be rewarded.

Attention to detail

This may mean the company adheres to strict codes and will jump on you without hesitation if you fail to comply with them.

Customer focused

This could mean that you will have to face a load of crap from clients and customers but will still have to remain pleasant to them.

6) Danger signs

Lots of growth opportunities

I’ve fallen for this one in the past which basically means ‘we are a start-up with little money. We want you to work your arse off and if (a big if) it works out you can have some shares and a better job.

Flexibility with working hours

This may mean they will be flexible to fit around you but may also mean they are irregular casual work or they expect you to be flexible whilst they may remain not so flexible.

Top 7 Cover Letter Secrets

Mark Andrew · October 25, 2016 · Leave a Comment

As with your CV, you need to create a fresh covering letter for each job application to help land that dream job. At least thats how it used to be. Now it will more likely be an email message. Either way, you’ve got to make your application stand out above the other candidates – you need to make the recruiter notice you and your CV will not do this alone. Your covering letter should PROVE to the employer that you are right for the job, compared with a CV, which is essentially a list of skills and experience, by the showing practical application of these skills and experience. And you’ve also got to PROVE you have the knowledge in order fit in and get on in the company and industry. So, you should do a little research into the company – look at their website, read in newspapers about key issues within that particular industry – Twitter and Linkedin are great for gaining ‘inside information’{link} within your desired industry. That done, here’s how to make a great covering letter:

1.Skills match

Go back to your objective builder form you needed for your CV -what skills does the job description require? You need to match these skills – if you don’t have the skills, then your covering letter is the perfect opportunity to explain why and how your existing skills make you a perfect candidate for the role, regardless of the lack of skills. As I alluded to earlier, essentially a covering letter is an expansion to your CV, so apply your skills and experience to the role, for example if I had retail experience and was applying for a customer service role, I would give an example, referring to my CV, as to how my the skills and my experience from my retail position applies to the. A great technique for this is in point 2.

2. The STAR system

Remember the STAR system from the new2london CV guide? Now, to make your CV completely fantastic, and to get you one step ahead of the rest, you need to take the objective sentences from the ‘Career’ section of your CV and expand them into paragraph stories. Here’s how to do it:

From the job description you should have identified the key skills and about four soft skills which are needed for the role. And of course, the skills actually listed by the recruiter. For more information click here to read about job descriptions. For your covering letter you need to link these skills with your own showing evidence from your experience. The best way to do this is using the STAR System:

Situation – the background.

Task – the task and goal which you where required to fulfil.

Action – the action taken by you to achieve the goal.

Result – exactly what it says on the tin.

Give a brief background of the situation, explain the task which you had to undertake, the action you took so as to complete it and finally, give details of the result.

For example, a typical statement from a CV could be: ‘Started as a research internship – promoted twice.’ So, to make this a paragraph for your covering letter you need to give it more detail – link it with the most necessary skills and soft skills needed. Here are the skills listed in the job description for the project management role we previously looked at (link decode)

• Digital and social media background

• Proven Business Development experience of Digital products and services

• Ability to build a sales pipeline and convert opportunities

• Ability to communicate with all levels within business

• proven track record of sales and winning new business

• self starter

• hungry to succeed

• multitask to an extremely high level

For example, if I wanted to write a covering letter for this position I may write:

My previous position at {name} began as a research internship. However, showing proven aptitude in social media marketing and sales, when a colleague was off sick, I oversaw their business development and sales responsibilities. The company devoid of a Twitter account, so I created one and commenced business to business (B2B) marketing and communication using the platform, achieving {XX} amount of extra sales revenue. Furthermore, in this capacity, I secured six new clients in three days, resulting in {XX} amount of sales and my promotion to the position of {XXXXX}.

This is a rough guide to show you how to do it – I’m sure you can do much better. Remember, only use active verbs{link below}.

3. Short and succinct

The ideal covering letter is short and to the point. Keep your cover letter quick and simple – recruiters will only have seconds to decide whether you fit the job description. Use your covering letter as an extension of your CV expanding on your skills – but do not just repeat CV and make sure it fits the specific role for which you are applying.

4. Structure for a covering letter:

First Paragraph

Name the job you intend to apply for. Next, state where you saw it advertised/where you found out about it. Then, tell them when youre available to start work.

Second Paragraph

Why youre interested in that type of work – use your research. Why the company attracts you – again, use your research.

Third/ Fourth Paragraphs

Use a the STAR system to match your own skills and experience to those required of the job.

Final Paragraph

Let them know your availability for an interview by listing any date which you are unavialbe. Finally, thank the employer, tell them to contact you if they need any more information and tell them you are looking forward to hearing from them.

Remember, if you started with the recruiters name you should end with ‘yours sincerely’. If, however, you started with ‘Dear Sir/Madam’ you need to end your covering letter with ‘yours faithfully’.

Remember – keep the formalities to a minimum – you need to catch the recruiter’s attention and you won’t be able to do that with too much waffle.

5. Do:

• Use simple effective language –use short, sharp sentences.

• Try to answer the employer’s question ‘why should I employ this person?’

• Ask the employer for an interview. Tell them you will call/email in say, a week. Then make sure you follow it up.

• Use action verbs – avoid passive verbs such as ‘to be’ and ‘to do’. For example:

Active/action: I helped the managed.

Passive: The manager was helped by me.

6. Do not:

• Repeat your CV in a narrative form – you have not linked your skills and experience to the specific role. This will be hard to read and end up in the bin.

• Create a generic CV and send to all employers – your CV and covering letter will end up in the bin.

• Leave it up to the employer to offer you an interview – ask for one.

• Don’t tell the employers you have attached/enclosed a CV – they’ll be able to see it and you’ll have wasted time.

7. Show your knowledge

This is where your research comes in; show them that you know what you are talking about. One great technique here is to talk about specific issues within the industry and link the prospective role to them i.e. talk about how you in your role could overcome or work with these issues. Another approach is bringing up any specific data which you have found out about the company i.e. sales figures. This can be linked into your STAR statement. For example:

According to my research your sales figures were {XX}. During a project, remember the STAR system – apply it here: Situation, Task, Action, Result. I feel, from the results in my previous position, I would be able to increase your sales figures.

Show that you understand them by linking the issues to skills or knowledge you possess for example ‘I realise that {your company} is the market leader for [product] which is…’

Your covering letter is a great forum to demonstrate you have thought about the role and the company. You need to show the recruiter why you are interested – you can do this by demonstrating your knowledge about the company, the industry and the competitors.

Interview With The Accidental Londoner

Mark Andrew · October 24, 2016 · Leave a Comment

1) Describe your blog

I started The Accidental Londoner back in 2009 as a way to keep far-flung family up to speed with what I was getting up to.  Since then it’s become a collection of musings on city-life, urban space, events and attractions and the odd tale of adjusting to life post-university.  I cover just about anything which is remotely associated with London – from restaurant reviews to accounts of witnessing protests and security incidents like the Tottenham Court Road siege back in 2012.

2) Why did you create your blog?

Oops, jumped the gun on this one – see above!  I have always written in one way or another (although until I launched the Accidental Londoner I’d not done much that was ever read by anyone else), and what inspires me the most is experiencing new places.  As a relatively new Londoner I was spoilt for inspiration and content in this city.  And I just kept going when I realised people were actually reading it!

3) What is your favourite blog post and why?

Not an obvious choice, because it was tough to write and it’s certainly not one of my most-read pieces, but my favourite post is ‘The man on the platform‘.  It deals with an incident which affected me deeply, both shaking and reaffirming my faith in people and confirming something I had long suspected – that sometimes you can be at your most alone and vulnerable when you’re surrounded by hundreds and thousands of people.  (I also received a lovely email in response to the piece from one of my best friends, which reminded me how fortunate I am to be supported by so much love in this city.)

4) What are the top 3 things you have learnt from blogging?

1. Bloggers are awesome – they are friendly, open, supportive of one another all whilst often remaining little more than a Twitter handle or email address.  Occasionally they become something more though, which is a wonderful bonus!

2. Sometimes people don’t interpret a blog post in the way you expect or intend them to.  And that’s ok.  Every post you publish is you saying something– and you can control the way in which you say it.  What you can’t control is how people read and understand it.

3. Blogging done well takes commitment.  It takes time to maintain a regular stream of good quality, interesting content, and also to develop a voice for yourself out there, amongst the millions of other bloggers.  You have to stick at it!

5) What is your favourite part of London and why?

Having spent my first few years in London in the South West, I made the move to North London three years ago, and instantly felt like I was home within the city.  My favourite bit of London is my own neighbourhood – hidden away between Holloway and Tufnell Park.  The area itself is fun and friendly, Hampstead Heath is on the doorstep, and you can get just about anywhere else in the city relatively quickly.

6) How does London compare to other cities around the world?

London has never had the same sort of exciting, fast-paced energy I feel when I visit younger cities like New York or Mumbai.  Maybe it’s too grown-up for that!  It’s slower, greyer and (sorry to say this!) the people are not the friendliest at first glance. But London is constantly changing; you struggle to be bored here – there is always something new to see and do.

7) What have you found to be the best way to make friends in London?

For many people, making friends in London is a challenge.  Londoners are not the most open and friendly people in the world.  I’ve met people through work, through friends I had before I moved here and even through blogging – and that’s been a wonderful surprise.

8) If you could give someone new to London one piece of career advice what would it be?

Find a job that makes you feel excited when you get up in the morning, and don’t fret about your long-term career.  If you have a role you truly care about and believe in, you won’t resent putting in the hard graft to do your job really well.  And then you’ll be surprised at all the opportunities that present themselves…seize them and enjoy!

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