There are a number of pitfalls to avoid when you first try online dating in London. Make sure you get ahead of the competition with your online dating efforts
1) Not being truthful
Heard the joke about the perfect man you have just met online? “Subtract three inches from his height, double his weight, halve his income, and add a decade to his age”
Make sure the joke isnt on you, try and do a little bit of detective work when you start messaging a new potential date online
2) Being too shy
Dont be afraid to put yourself out there. If you want to avoid bad dates in London youve got to have no fear. Be open-minded and enthusiastic about meeting new friends. Dont make assumptions about someones type by their profile – most people are terrible at analysing and describing themselves.
Chemistry is a complicated business. If you think there is at least half a chance you might like someone then start a conversation with them. See the real person behind the profile. Meet within three days from the time you first started talking, otherwise you will lose momentum and that initial spark of interest will fade. Strike while the iron is hot!
3) Bad profile photo
What is the first thing everyone sees on your profile? Your photo! Thats why you want pictures that do you justice and show off your best look. Paying for a professional photo could be the best investment you ever make. Whatever you do dont take one yourself with a camera phone!
Put as much money and effort you can into your photos because they are extremely important to your online dating success in London.
Always smile, do not wear sunglasses, ensure the photo is nicely framed – eg its not cutting off half the side of your head. Avoid posting pictures with multiple people in them. You know what people think when they see these? Either – this person is insecure about their looks (and actually his/her friends is much hotter!) or they will wrongly guess which one in the photo is you.
4) Bad Username
Your user name is the either the first or second thing potential dates will see – after your photo. Its a marketing opportunity. Get it right and you will give yourself an edge on the competition. Get it wrong and you could turn dates away. Dont bore everyone with something clichéd like “SingleGirl” or something overly sexual like “HotnSexy21”. Come up with something clever that stands out or makes people laugh.
5) Dont send generic messages
When you initiate contact for the first time with your date, write and intriguing subject then mention something in their profile so he or she knows you read it. Then share something interesting about you. Keep your initial messages short – no more than two or three paragraphs. Do not send a long-winded essay and include your contact details at the bottom!
Keep the whole message under 200 words, use proper grammar and spelling, and avoid complimenting the person on their appearance or it could look like you are just interested in sex.
Good looking people will get dozens of winks and messages. Give your date a reason to open your message first! Make it stand out among all the others or it has a high chance of getting deleted and never read.
6) Dont take too long to respond
Some experts suggest its a smart strategy not to appear too eager or desperate. If you get a message then wait, and wait… you could wait too long.
Responding promptly is not a bad idea. It will help you stand out from the other dates. Get over it with and message back. Forget the mind games. Being confident is attractive. If your date messages you back quickly – you can get a conversation going – almost like you are speaking face to face. This is the ultimate way to build rapport quickly. You could find yourself in a position to ask your new friend out on a date straight away – without waiting days or weeks. Be yourself and youll be fine!
7) Dont ask someone out straight away
Never ask someone for a date with your first message to them. You need to build rapport with them first. Create some attraction, connection and then intrigue. At that point you are ready to ask them on a date in London!
8) Dont Wink
Avoid sending winks – its just lazy and means the other person has to make all the effort to contact you
9) Dont talk about sex
If you talk about sex too soon 99 times out of a 100 it will be game over in terms of actually being able to meet that person!
10) Unrealistic age gaps
If you are 35 and you state on your profile are interested in ages 18 to 25 – then expect a low response to your messages. Most people will only want to meet people 10 years older or younger than themselves.
11) Dont talk about your Ex
94% of men claim that they have dated women who discussed their ex-boyfriends on the first date. Ex-talk is a majore turn off and it shows that the person has moved on from their last relationship. A new date wants to feel there is a clean slate with the person they have just not. Nobody wants to clean up someone elses mess and carry away their baggage.
12) Dont refer to other opinions of you
Never tell other online dates that your friends think youre cool, that you should be married, or that you are reliable, dependable or any other form of bland testimonial. Not only do these descriptions mean absolutely nothing in the online dating world. It also shows a lack of confidence on your part and potentially it will raise a red flag with your new date.
13) Dont use relationship language
The whole purpose of online dating for most is to meet someone special and start a long term relationship. But there are some steps in between now and that future. Online dating sites are not a marriage brokerage – if though some may claim to be. Very few members will expect to launch into heavy relationship talk early on. Nobody does that until they are sure they like the person. You dont want to scare someone off in your communications by using language such as “looking for the one”, “are you the man of my dreams?”, “can you complete me?”
14) Expecting too much too soon
Online dating in London takes time. Therefore, buying a one month subscription to an online dating site and expecting that to be the solution is unrealistic. Unless you are very lucky you may have to try many dating sites over a long period of time. Perhaps that period of time could run into years.